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I'd rather he'd be crazy mad than be what I'm thinking of now, and that's that all this stuff might just fairly break his heart. Think of it to see his fine honest acting turned into good old Buckeye slap-stick! Can't you get that? How'd you like to think you were playing Romeo, and act your heart out at it, and then find out they'd slipped in a cross-eyed Juliet in a comedy make-up on you?

"I realized that you were a serious artist, and you came in the nick of time, just when I was wanting to be serious myself, to get away from that slap-stick stuff into something better and finer. You came when I needed you. And, look here, Merton, I signed you on at forty a week " "Yes, sir: I was glad to get it." "Well, I'm going to give you more.

"Interference?" he repeated. "Interference? Mr. Grump, you have a reputation for humor, or so I judge. I've been listening to you trying to bedevil that man out there, but I'm afraid your humor is a little on the slap-stick order. And so" the superintendent raised his head "if I use a club on you, instead of the point of a rapier, I hope you won't think I do it out of natural brutality."

In years to come dialogue on these lines was to be popular throughout the length and breadth of Great Britain. But till then it had been unknown. The voices grew angrier. To an initiated listener it would have been plain that in a short while words would be found inadequate and the dagger, that medieval forerunner of the slap-stick, brought into play.

"Better read your contract. If you won't do it, somebody else will have to. You know, we've got a man at the studio who could change Hamlet into a slap-stick comedy over night, if the emergency arose." "I will not agree to have my picture ruined," said Ruth, almost in tears. "That isn't the way to look at it," Hooley observed more kindly.

The boys roared while poor Jimmy patiently brushed the dirt off, inquiring in injured accents what the big idea was, anyway. "Good work, fellows," crowed Herb joyfully. "That's bully slap-stick work all right. You have a movie star beat a mile already." "Say, cut out the comedy, will you, Herb?" asked Joe impatiently. "I want to hear about this great idea of Bob's."

I recall that as I followed him, I half imagined that the floor gave way just a bit, and there flashed over me, by a queer association of ideas, the recollection of having visited an amusement park not long before where merely stepping on an innocent-looking section of the flooring had resulted in a tremendous knocking and banging beneath, much to the delight of the lovers of slap-stick humor.

You might work with me for years and I'd never ask you to do a thing that wasn't serious. In fact, that's why I'm hoping to engage you now. I want to do a serious picture, I want to get out of all that slap-stick stuff, see? Something fine and worth while, like you say. And you're the very actor I need in this new piece."

Following immediately upon the first roar were the muffled sounds of additional explosions, persisting for a matter of ten to fifteen seconds. With every detonation the floor beneath our feet trembled and rocked. Several flats of scenery stacked against a wall at our rear toppled forward and struck the floor with a resounding whack, not unlike some gigantic slap-stick.

"Stop the camera!" he barked and waddled irately up to Muriel. "This," he observed ironically, "is drama, Miss Gay. We are not making slap-stick comedy to-day; and you needn't give an imitation of boosting a barrel over a fence." Tears that were real slipped down over the rouge and grease paint on Muriel's cheeks. "Why don't you make that girl stop butting in?" she flashed unexpectedly.