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"'You're goin' off to the town, says she, 'to buy shoes for the childre', says she, 'and never thought o' gettin' me a pair. "'You! says Tom." "'Yis, me, Tom Connor, says she; 'and the neighbours wondhers that a respectable man like you allows your cat to go about the counthry barefutted, says she." "'Is it a cat to ware shoes? says Tom."
Th' man that has a machine that'll tur-rn out three hundhred thousan' toothpicks ivry minyit'll sind over his inthrestin' device, they'll be mountains iv infant food an' canned prunes, an' pickle casters, an' pants, an' boots, an' shoes an' paintin's. They'll be all th' wondhers iv modhern science. Ye can see how shirts ar-re made, an' what gives life to th' sody fountain.
If I wint over there 'tis little time I'd be spindin' thryin' to discover how th' wondhers iv mechanical janius are projooced that makes livin' so much more healthy an' oncomfortable.
But tell me pooh ay, is there a thousand quarer things but I say, Biddy, how do you like to live wid this family?" "Why, troth indeed, only for the withered ould leprechaun himself, divil a dacenter people ever broke bread." "Yet, isn't it a wondher that the ould fellow is what he is, an' he so full o' money?" "Troth, there's one thing myself wondhers at more than that."
"It's the least I may do," said he, "now that I'm your fellow-servant; but before you go farther, lay down your burden, an' let us chat awhile." "Indeed," replied Biddy, "it's little we expected ever to see your father's son goin' to earn his bread undher another man's roof." "Pooh! Biddy! there's greater wondhers in the world than that, woman alive!
"Charley, they say America's a fine place; talkin' about money wid a little money there, they say a man could do wondhers." "Who says that?" "Why Donnel Dhu, for one; an' he knows, for he was there." "I b'lieve that Donnel was many a place; over half the world, if all's thrue." "Augh! the same Donnel's a quare fellow a deep chap a cute follow; but, I know more about him than you think ay, do I."
"I understand, sir, that you would like to be a bishop," replied the professor, bowing politely, but seating himself unceremoniously. "That's thrue enough, sir," replied Father Higgins, who somehow felt curiously at his ease, and disposed at once to be confidential with this utter stranger. "I've often imagined meself a bishop, an' doin' wondhers in me office. But it's nonsinse."
"At laste I thought it was but Hannigan that come over in it says it's a boat. 'Ye must've had a grand time, says I, 'in this floatin' palace, atin' ye'er fill iv sumchuse food an' gazin' at th' beautifully jooled ladies, says I. 'Ah, says I, 'th' wondhers iv science that cud put together a conthrivance th' like iv that, says I. 'It's a boat, says he.
Troth, I think, it must be in the owld pagan times long ago, when the people were different from what they are now." "You see, Darby, that just men, that is the Elect, have their privileges." "Troth, if to fall seven times a day is the privilege of a just man, I'd never be anything else all my life," replied Darby; "and myself wondhers that there's e'er an unjust man alive."
Th' grand times they must've had. Time was whin a man got on a boat an' was lost f'r a week or ten days. Now, be hivens, through th' wondhers iv modhern science he's hardly settled down to a cigar an' a game iv pinochle with another fugitive that he's just met, whin a messenger boy comes down th' deck on his bicycle an' hands him a tillygram with glad tidings fr'm home.
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