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Hinnissy, an' not be standin' there lookin' like a Chinny-man in a sthreet-car." "I don't know what ye mean," said Mr. Hennessy, softly. "Lord Charles Beresford is a sort iv advance agent iv th' White Man's Burden Thrajeedy Company, two little Evas, four hundherd millyon Topsies, six hundherd millyon Uncle Toms. He's billin' the' counthry f'r th' threeyumphial tour iv th' Monsther Aggregation.

"As the poet ought to have said, 'Oh, Hamlet, Hamlet, what crimes are committed in thy name!" "I feel as badly about the play as Hamlet does," said Shakespeare, after a moment of silent thought. "I don't bother much about this wild Western business, though, because I think the introduction of the bloodhounds and the Topsies makes us both more popular in that region than we should be otherwise.

As you are perhaps aware an Uncle Tom Company consists of a 'Legree, one or two 'Markses, one or two 'Topsies, 'Uncle Tom, a 'Little Eva, who should not be over fifty years old, or at least should not appear to be, two bloodhounds, and anybody else that happens to be available. It really doesn't make the least difference how many or how few people are in the cast.

"Maybe they're all Topsies and 'just growed'," suggested Mr. Heatherbloom. "Patience!" muttered the other. "The public may be a little coy at first, but once they git started they'll be fighting for copies. So encore, my boy; hammer it into them. We'll get them; you see!" But the person addressed didn't see, at least with Mr. Mackintosh's clairvoyant vision. Mr.

There was a time when more was expected of a teacher; but that was before the application of labor-saving machinery to spiritual matters; before colleges became known as places "where coals are brightened and diamonds are dimmed" before it became customary to cast potential Homers and Hannibals, Topsies and Blind Toms into the same educational hopper, and hire some gabby-Holofernes from God knows where to manipulate the mill.

Another thing: Most people nowadays are short sighted; you have to capture 'em in the mass two Topsies, four Uncle Toms, eight Markses the lawyers, twenty chorus girls kicking at once-big stage picture, you know, not the individual. And the individual must have the large manner. Yes, yes; I use you for bait to draw people, but I need other performers to amuse 'em after they're here.

While I had some men who were unprincipled and troublesome, there was not one whom I could call a hardened villain. I was constantly expecting to find male Topsies, with no notions of good and plenty of evil. But I never found one.

Confetti flew, serpentines unreeled themselves out through the air, dusters spluttered in faces, and among the Pierrettes, Pierrots, Columbines, sombrero-ed cowboys, bandana-ed cow-girls, Indians, Sambos, Topsies and Poppy Maidens, Barbara's little white linen slip and soft white sweater, and my grey business suit, were more conspicuous than would have been the Ahkoond of Swat and his Captive Slave.

I could not help, thinking of the children I had seen to-day, "Sad for the dirt-begrimed babies that they were born." These children were all a family of eternal Topsies they merely grew, and few knew how. They are rather dragged up than brought up, to live or die, as time might appoint.

Probability or truth to life he demands not, perfection of form were thrown away upon him. His soul melts before the simplest pathos, he is made happy by a happy ending, and when Momus sits on a hat "he openeth his mouth and saith Ha! ha!" He is a flute upon which you may play what false notes you will. In some versions of "Uncle Tom's Cabin" he placidly accepts two Topsies.