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"It's not a sarmon I want; will you stand the price of a glass?" "Not a drop." "Go to blazes, then, if you won't. I'm a betther man than ever you wor, an' have betther blood in my veins. The great Fermanagh Maguires forever!" But, hold we must do the unfortunate man justice. Amidst all this degradation, and crime, and wretchedness, there yet shone undimmed one solitary virtue.
"In the beef or pork-barrel, Sorrow?" said I. "Oh, Lord bless you, Massa, in needer; you knows de meaning ob dat are word I is sure you does dey made me most tosicated, Massa, and dey said, 'Sorrow, come preach ablution sarmon. Oh, Massa, I was berry sorry, it made me feel all ober like ague; but how could I insist so many; what was I to do, dey fust made me der slave, and den said, 'Now tell us bout mancipation. Well, dey gub me glass ob rum, and I swallowed it berry bad rum well, dat wouldn't do.
The men and women went home quietly; tender and long-forgotten feelings had been briefly aroused, and very few who had visited The Cleopatra went near the public-house that night. "Them was blessed words," whispered little Sal's mother, "and she's a blessed gel. Talk of saints, I call Hester Wright one, though she never preached no sarmon.
I be gwaine to give Master Will rope enough to hang himself, having a grudge or two against him yet; then, when the job's done, an' he's learnt the hard lesson to the dregs, I'll cut un down in gude time an' preach a sarmon to him while he's in a mood to larn wisdom.
"Faix, it's a good kitchen you kep', anyhow, whenever you had it to spind; and indeed when you hadn't you spint it all the same, for the divil a much you cared how you got it; but death has made you pay the reckoning at last that thing that filly- officers call the debt o' nature must be paid, whatever else you may owe." "Why, it's as good as a sarmon to hear you," said one of the bailiffs.
"Enough, Denis, that's sufficient; and now, between you and me, I say your son will be the load-star of Maynooth, winch out-tops anything I said of him yet." "There's a whole keg of whiskey, Docthor." "I see nothing, to prevent him from being a bishop; indeed, it's almost certain, for he can't be kept back." "I only hope your Reverence will be livin' when he praches his first sarmon.
"Wall," said the landlord, fetching a long breath, "that's a purty long sarmon for a chap that rips a little now and then. He wanted to, last Sunday, but I stopped him just as he was goin' out of the door with four heads strung on a string, for all the airth like a string of inions."
Thinks I, here's a pretty how do you do; I'm in for it now, that's a fact; he'll jist fall to and read a regular sarmon, and he knows so many by heart hell never stop. It would take a Philadelphia lawyer to answer him. So, says I, minister, I ax your pardon, I feel very ugly at havin given you offence, but I did'nt mean it, I do assure you.
Pettier, yours; and I hope to see you soon with the robes upon you, and to be able to prache us a good sarmon. Kitty, you thief of the world, where are you?
They rallied handsomely, and that without beat of drum, which is no easy thing to do under fire, and were very steady till he fell. But the Scriptures contain no unnecessary words; and I will maintain that horse, who know how to strike with the edge of the sword, must be well disoiplyned. Many a good sarmon has been preached about smaller matters than that one word!
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