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Instead of hirin' a first rate workman who knew his bizness, he wuz bound, on account of cheapness, to hire a conceited creeter who thought he could do anything better than anyone else could. He knew how to milk, Jabez Wind did, and how to clean stables, and plough and hoe corn. But he felt he could do plumbin' better than them who had handled plumbs for years.
And agin the Agent mentioned the stairs, and agin he mentioned the plumbin'. But Elnathan wuz so interested then and took up in tryin' to decide whether he would have a stained-glass angel or some stained-glass cherubs a-hoverin' over the gallery in front of The Little Maid's room, that he hadn't a mite of time to argue any further on the subject so he telegrafted "No repairs allowed.
"I hear Brady has been working at his old trade for nearly a year," said the detective. "He doesn't travel with the gang any more, does he?" "He's workin', all right," said the red sweater, "but say, sport, are you trailin' anything in the fur line? A job in a plumbin' shop don' match wid dem skins de Kid's girl's got on."
Why, inside of half an hour I'm steppin' out brisk with my chin up, breathin' in great chunks of salt air and meetin' that heave of the deck as natural as if I'd walked on rubber pavements all my life. After that, whenever I got to havin' any of them up and down sensations in the plumbin' department, I dashed for the open air and walked it down.
'Well, says Ganderbilk, 'how much d'ye want? he says. 'I'll give ye a millyon. 'Goowan, says th' jook, 'I cud get that much marryin' somewan I knew. 'Thin how much d'ye want? says Ganderbilk. 'Well, says th' jook, th' castle has to be put in repair. Th' plumbin' is all gone to th' divvle, an' they'll have to be a new catch-basin put in, he says.
"No," sez I, "and truly as you say, the woman who is your wife needs prayer, she needs help, morn half the time she duz." He looked kinder dissatisfied at the way I turned it, but he sez, "'Plumbin' done here!" "I'd love to know where they are goin' to plum. I don't see no sign of plum trees, nor no stick to knock 'em off with."
"It must be chewed first though. Here, Barry, take two or three pieces." "But I don't care for gum," says Barry. "Really!" "If you don't wish to spend the night here, chew and chew fast," says Ann. So he chewed. We all chewed. And with the three fresh gobs Ann did a first aid plumbin' job that didn't look so worse. She got the funnel so it would stick on the pipe.
"I'll kill ye jest so sure's hell's a good place to thaw plumbin'," cried Mr. Bodge. "I've got ye placed. You was goin' to steal my brains. You was goin' to suck Bodge dry and laugh behind his back. You're an old thief and liar." "There's no bald-headed old sosh that can call me names not when I can stop it by droppin' a rock on his head," stated the Cap'n with vigor.
I don't deny it's a comfort, with all the elegant plumbin' we've got now, not to feel you've got to wait for a certain day to come 'round to take a good soak when you're hot or dirty, but it would have been an awful strain on my conscience an' my back both in them days.
And so he wrote back to his Agent, that "he couldn't possibly spend any money on stairs or plumbin' in a tenement house, for the repairs he wuz making on his own place at Menlo Park would cost more than a hundred thousand dollars and he felt that he couldn't fix them stairs, and he thought anyway it wuzn't best to listen to the complaints of complaining tenants."
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