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In his wife's clan he occupies a very high place, he is second to none but u kni, the maternal uncle, while in his own family circle a father and husband is nearer to his children and his wife than u kni.
Divorce amongst the Khasis is common, and may occur for a variety of reasons, such as adultery, barrenness, incompatibility of temperament, &c. The rule amongst the Khasis is that both parties must agree, but amongst the Wárs, especially the people of Shella, the party who divorces the other without his or her consent must pay compensation, which is called ka mynrain, or ka thnem. Amongst the Khasis it is not the custom to enforce restitution of conjugal rights; as a rule, when husband and wife cannot live together amicably, they agree to divorce one another; but occasionally it happens that either the husband or the wife will not agree to a divorce. Usually the husband would be willing to live with his wife; but when the latter consents neither to live with her husband nor to accept a divorce, a difficult situation arises, and it is in the event of such a contingency happening that the necessity of assessing ka mynrain, or ka thnem (compensation), occurs. The latter is computed by the village elders. Parties who have been divorced cannot afterwards remarry one another, but they are at liberty to marry into other families. A woman cannot be divorced during pregnancy. The following description of the divorce ceremony is taken from U Jeebon Roy's note on the Khasi religion. If the marriage has been celebrated according to the pynhiar synjat rite, a ksiang (go-between) is necessary on each side, also the kni, or maternal uncles of the parties, to witness the divorce. In other cases the presence of the ksiang is unnecessary, but some acquaintances and friends as well as the relatives on both sides should witness the ceremony. The husband and the wife each bring five cowries (sb
Besides lyngdohs there are persons called soh-blei or soh-sla, who may also be said to be priests. The Khasis, unlike the Hindus, have no purohit or priest to perform the family ceremonies. Such duties fall to the lot of the head of the family or clan, who carries them out generally through the agency of the kni, or maternal uncle.
Thus we see a striking point of resemblance between the Khasi ancestor-worship and the ancient Shinto cult of Japan, as described by Mr. Lafcadio Hearn. U Suid-Nia, or u Kni Rangbah, the first maternal uncle, i.e. the elder brother of Ka Iawbei, is also much revered.
Mon, kni, gni; Stieng, ko'nei; Bahnar, kone; Khasi, khnai. Swine. Bahnar niung is evidently Khasi 'niang, the abbreviated form of sniang. Tiger. Mon, kla; Stieng, klah; Bahnar, kla; Khmêr, khla and Khasi, khla are evidently the same. With this compare the Kol kula, kula, kula. Bird.
The influence of the kni, or mother's elder brother, in the Khasi family is very great, for it is he who is the manager on behalf of the mother, his position in the Khasi family being very similar to that of the karta in the Hindu joint family. It is on this account that he is so much revered, and is honoured with a stone which is larger than the other up-right memorial stones after death.
It is true that the kni, or mother's elder brother, is the head of the house, but the father is the executive head of the new home, where, after children have been born to him, his wife and children live with him. It is he who faces the dangers of the jungles, and risks his life for wife and children.
Turning to the plate of the Laitkor stones, it will be observed that there are nine upright stones, and one large flat table-stone in front. Counting from right to left, stone No. 5 is called u maw kni, or the maternal uncle's stone; and the stones to the right and left of it, ki maw pyrsa ki para, i.e. the stones of the maternal brothers and nephews.
There is no custom of hypergamy. A Khasi cannot marry his maternal uncle's daughter during the lifetime of the maternal uncle. This is probably due to the fact that the maternal uncle, or kni, in a Khasi household is regarded more in the light of a father than of an uncle.
The Khasi saying is, "u kpa uba lah ban iai, u kni uba tang ha ka iap ka im," which may be translated freely as, "the father bears the heat and burden of the day, the maternal uncle only comes when it is a question of life or death." The Khasi father is revered not only when living, but also after death as U Thawlang, and special ceremonies are performed to propitiate his shade.
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