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Vyatcheslav Ilarionovitch is a devoted admirer of the fair sex, and directly he catches sight of a pretty woman in the promenade of his district town, he is promptly off in pursuit, but falls at once into a sort of limping gait that is the remarkable feature of the case.
It's on that event the song was composed: "Bonaparty's in no mood to dance, He's lost the garters he brought from France."... Do you understand? he liberated your fatherland. 'And what's that to do with me? 'Ah! you silly boy! Why, if his Highness Prince Mihalo Ilarionovitch hadn't driven out Bonaparty, some mounseer would have been beating you about the head with a stick this minute.
It is true the once regular and even now rather pleasing features of his face have undergone some change; his cheeks are flabby; there are close wrinkles like rays about his eyes; a few teeth are not, as Saadi, according to Pushkin, used to say; his light brown hair at least, all that is left of it has assumed a purplish hue, thanks to a composition bought at the Romyon horse-fair of a Jew who gave himself out as an Armenian; but Vyatcheslav Ilarionovitch has a smart walk and a ringing laugh, jingles his spurs and curls his moustaches, and finally speaks of himself as an old cavalry man, whereas we all know that really old men never talk of being old.
He it was, too, who ordered his women serfs to wear tiaras after a pattern bespoken from Moscow; and to this day the peasant women on his lands do actually wear the tiaras, only they wear them over their skull-caps.... But let us return to Vyatcheslav Ilarionovitch.
But I'd better see you on your way now, he added; 'I suppose you won't wait for this little rain.... In the yard there was the rattle of the wheels of the peasant's cart. 'He's off, then! he muttered; 'but next time! Half-an-hour later he parted from me at the edge of the wood. First I will describe to you the retired General-major Vyatcheslav Ilarionovitch Hvalinsky.
Vyatcheslav Ilarionovitch is at his best at the large invitation dinners given by gentlemen of the neighbourhood in honour of the governor and other dignitaries: then he is, one may say, in his natural element. General Hvalinsky shows to advantage too at all solemn public functions, inspections, assemblies, and exhibitions; no one in church goes up for the benediction with such style.
Aren't you a Russian? 'I'm a Mtchanin, granddad; I was born in Mtchensk. 'Oh, silly dunce! but where is Mtchensk? 'How can I tell? 'Mtchensk's in Russia, silly! 'Well, what then, if it is in Russia? 'What then? Why, his Highness the late Prince Mihalo Ilarionovitch Golenishtchev-Kutuzov-Smolensky, with God's aid, graciously drove Bonaparty out of the Russian territories.
Vyatcheslav Ilarionovitch does not read much; when he is reading he incessantly works his moustaches and eyebrows up and down, as if a wave were passing from below upwards over his face. In the assemblies of nobility he plays a rather important part, but on grounds of economy he declines the honourable dignity of marshal.
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