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Theres a artikil in the Constitooshun of the United States which sez in effeck that everybody may think just as he darn pleazes, & them is my sentiments to a hare. You dowtlis beleeve this Sperret doctrin while I think it is a little mixt.
Another Party concern'd in this Plot was an old cast-out Solunarian Priest, who, tho' professing himself a Solunarian, was turn'd out for adhering to the Abrograzian King, a mighty Stickler for the Doctrin of absolute Subjection.
The Solunarian Clergy had carry'd on their Non-Resistance Doctrin to such Extremities, and had given this new Prince such unusual demonstrations of it, that he fell absolutely into the Snare, and entirely believ'd them; he had try'd them with such Impositions as they would never have born from any Prince in the World, nor from him neither, had they not had a deep Design, and consequently stood in need of the deepest Disguise imaginable; they had yielded to a Standing Army, and applauded it as a thing they had desir'd; they had submitted to levying Taxes upon them by New Methods, and illegal Practices; they had yielded to the abrogation or suspension at least of their Laws, when the King's absolute Will requir'd it; not that they were blind, and did not see what their Prince was doing, but that the black Design was so deeply laid, they found it was the only way to ruin him, to push him upon the highest Extreams, and then they should have their turn serv'd.
Standing in his desk before the first hymn was announced, Amos cried in loud tones: 'Aw seed her mysel donce i' th' garden, on God's good Sunday morn. An' aw yerd her sing some mak' o' stuff abaat luv, and sich like rubbidge. What sort o' a wife dun yo' co that? G' me a lass as can strike up Hepzibah, and mak' a prayer. It's all o' a piece short weight i' doctrin', and falderdals i' wives.
The Applause of the Patriarch, the Acclamations of the People, and the general Rejoycings of the whole Nation at this Transaction, gave a black prospect to the Abrograzians; and a great many of them came very honestly and humbly to the King and told him, if he continued to go on by these Measures he would ruin them all; they told him what general Alarm had been over the whole Nation by the Clamours of the Clergy; and the beating of the Concionazimir in all Parts, inform'd him how the Doctrin of absolute Obedience was ridicul'd in all Places, and how the Clergy began to preach it back again like a Witches Prayer, and that it would infallibly raise the Devil of Rebellion in all the Nation, they besought him to content himself with the liberty of their Religion, and the freedom they enjoy'd of being let into Places and Offices of Trust and Honour, and to wait all reasonable Occasions to encrease their Advantages, and gradually to gain Ground; they entreated him to consider the impossibility of reducing so mighty, so obstinate, and so resolute a Nation all at once.
They declared that Persecution ran contrary to their Religion in general, and to their Doctrin in particular; and backt their Allegations with some Truths they have not since thought fit to like, nor much to regard.
These Tax them as above with Rebellion by their own Principles, and contradicting the Doctrin of Passive Submission and Non-Resistance, by taking up Arms against their Prince, calling in a Foreign Power, and deposing him: They charge them with killing the Lord's Anointed, by Shooting at him at the Boyn, where if he was not kill'd it was his own fault, at least 'tis plain 'twas none of theirs.
He don't do nobody no good & is a cuss to society & a pirit on honest peple's corn beef barrils. Admittin all you say abowt the doctrin to be troo, I must say the reglar perfessional Sperrit rappers them as makes a biznis on it air abowt the most ornery set of cusses I ever enkountered in my life. So sayin I put on my surtoot and went home. Respectably Yures, Artemus Ward.
Now it happen'd very unluckily that this Patriarch, tho' none of the most Learned of his Fraternity, yet had always been a mighty zealous Promoter of this blind Doctrin of Non-Resistance, and had not a little triumph'd over and insulted the Crolian Dissenters upon the Notion of Rebellion, antimonarchical Principles and Obedience, with a reserve for the Laws, and the like, as a scandalous practice, and comprehensive of Faction, Sedition, dangerous to the Church and State, and the like.
After the man he had struck had had his face washed, and his head thoroughly doused with cold water, he recovered rapidly and was soon able to sit up, and then rise weakly to his feet. The rebel looked on wonderingly. "Well, yo'uns is as good doctrin' hurts as ole Sary Whittleton, and she's a natural bone-setter," he said. "Well, don't stand around and gawk,", said Si snappishly. "Help.
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