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"It has sustained mine f'r many years," said Mr. Dooley. "I think," said Mr. Dooley, "I'll go down to th' stock yards an' buy a dhrove iv Steel an' Wire stock." "Where wud ye keep it?" asked the unsuspecting Hennessy. "I'll put it out on th' vacant lot," said Mr. Dooley, "an' lave it grow fat by atin' ol' bur-rd cages an' tin cans.
But Sinitor Tillman, who is a gr-reat frind iv th' canary bur-rd an' is niver seen without wan perched on his wrist, which he has taught to swear, put up a gallant fight f'r his protegees, an' thousands iv canary bur-rds sang with a lighter heart that night. Canary bur-rd seed will be very cheap this year, an' anny American wurrukin' man needn't go to bed hungry.
"There was a gr-reat sthruggle over can-nary bur-rd seed. Riprisintatives iv th' Chicago packers insisted that in time canary bur-rds cud be taught to eat pork chops. Manny sinitors thought that th' next step wud be to take th' duty off cuttle fish bone, an' thus sthrike a blow at th' very heart iv our protictive system.
'Ye'er slave, says th' sicrety iv th' threasury fr'm th' flure, 'is desthroyed with grief to tell ye that afther standin' th' intire empire on its head he's been onable to shake out more thin two millyon piasthres f'r this week's expinses iv ye'er awfulness, says he. 'What! says th' sultan, 'two millyon piasthres bar'ly enough to buy bur-rd seed f'r me bulbuls, says he.
Instead iv lollin' on a sofy an' listenin' to th' song iv th' mockin' bur-rd in th' pommygranite threes while ladies fr'm th' chorus iv 'Th' Black Crook' fanned him with fans iv peacock feathers, th' mis'rable old haythen was locked up in a garret with a revolver in his hand ready to shoot anny wan that come next or near him. He suffered fr'm dyspepsia an' he cuddent sleep nights.
Th' throuble with me about goin' to plays is that no matther where I set I cud see some hired man in his shirt sleeves argyin' with wan iv his frinds about a dog fight while Romeo was makin' th' kind iv love ye wuddent want ye'er daughter to hear to Juliet in th' little bur-rd cage they calls a balcony.
I used to know a man be th' name iv Schmitt that was a cobbler be profession an' lived next dure but wan to me. He was th' dacintist man ye iver see. He kep' a canary bur-rd, an' his devotion to his wife was th' scandal iv th' neighborhood. But bless my soul, how he hated kings.
There ought to be some way iv teachin' their wives how to cook it. It wud make a nourishin' dish whin ye have whetted ye'er face on a piece iv cuttle fish bone. I'm sure th' raison American wurrukin' men don't hop around an' sing over their wurruk is because they are improperly fed. "Yes, sir, canary bur-rd seed is free. What else? Lookin' down th' list I see that divvy-divvy is free also.
He was standin' be th' dure, with white gloves over his hands; an', whin we come, he give th' office to th' la-ad on th' gate, an' says th' la-ad, 'Sure thing, he says. 'Sure thing, an' in we goes. They was a lot iv Gazoorios there, some iv thim settin' in seats an' some iv thim in bur-rd cages up above, an' more standin'. Thim standin' was th' la-ads that Doheny rushed in.
"'That's as it may be, me lad, retorted Meehan, 'but fire I must. The bur-rd won't wait!" Prettyman Sweet was used to being laughed at, yet he flushed at the gibe. "Never mind," he said. "I bring home the game, just the same." "You 'bring home the bacon, in other words," said Chet, approaching him. "Let's see the bunnies?"
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