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It is a good thing to know the cost of enterprises begun in folly and pursued through excessive difficulties, whatever may have been the superior genius, the consummate foresight and experience, of the general. Ney counted 36,000 men as they crossed the Niemen, but only 22,000 were in line at Vitebsk. The King of Naples had lost 7000 men out of 28,000.
And, as in the case of the Vitebsk readings, I cannot find that I suffered any harm. Of course, reading so many better books, there came a time when the diamond-ring story paper disgusted me; but in the beginning my appetite for print was so enormous that I could let nothing pass through my hands unread, while my taste was so crude that nothing printed could offend me.
"Verily," says the zaddik Menahem Mendel of Vitebsk, "verily, grammar is useful; that our great ones indulged in the study thereof I also know; but what is to be done since the wicked and sinful have taken possession of it?"
Once more I quote from the article by Kossovsky: In the provinces the pogrom mania invaded even the Soviets, not mentioning the Red Army which became more and more infected with it. According to the Kiev Naiye Zait, in the Vitebsk Soviet shouts were heard, "Chase the Jews out of the Soviets and its institutions!"
So when I came to Vitebsk I eagerly seized on the many new things that I found around me; and these new impressions and experiences affected me so much that I count that visit as an epoch in my Russian life. I was very much at home in my uncle's household. I was a little afraid of my aunt, who had a quick temper, but on the whole I liked her.
"The French at Vitebsk, in four days' march they may be at Smolensk; perhaps are already there! Tikhon!" Tikhon jumped up. "No, no, I don't want anything!" he shouted. He put the letter under the candlestick and closed his eyes.
Vitebsk was a metropolis beside provincial Polotzk; and I was very small, even without stooping. Uncle Solomon lived in the better part of the city, and I found his place very attractive. Still, after a night's sleep, I was ready for further travel and adventures, and I set out, without a word to anybody, to retrace my steps clear across the city.
This was during our last year in Russia, when I was between twelve and thirteen years of age. I was old enough to be ashamed of my failures, but I did not have much time to think about them, because my Uncle Solomon took me with him to Vitebsk. It was not my first visit to that city.
I remembered the days in Vitebsk when I used to watch my cousin Hirshel start for school in the morning, every thread of his student's uniform, every worn copybook in his satchel, glorified in my envious eyes. And now I was myself as he: aye, greater than he; for I knew English, and I could write poetry. If my head was not turned at this time it was because I was so busy from morning till night.
"Short and energetic!" he remarked when he had read over the proclamation which he had dictated straight off without corrections. It ran: Soldiers! This is the battle you have so longed for. Victory depends on you. It is essential for us; it will give us all we need: comfortable quarters and a speedy return to our country. Behave as you did at Austerlitz, Friedland, Vitebsk, and Smolensk.
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