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She told herself that a hundred times daily. She remembered small thoughtfulnesses which had been a part of his daily conduct to her. She recalled small forbearances.
Billy Louise did not see him very often, but when she did it was with a deepening impression of his unflagging tenderness to Marthy a tenderness that manifested itself in many little, unassuming thoughtfulnesses and of his good-humor and his energy and several other qualities which one must admire. "Mommie, that nephew goes at everything just as if it were a game," she said after one visit.
And often, having satisfied your hunger, I was left to starve, no longer in company, but entirely alone. "I needed great things, perhaps, but I needed them expressed in little ways; and I needed little cares, little attentions, little thoughtfulnesses, little preventions, little, little, absurd kindnesses, tendernesses, recognitions, forgivenesses.
But may we not compare the least of the world's beauty with the least of its ugliness not murder, starvation, and rapine, with love and friendship and creation but the glory of sea and sky and city, with the little hatefulnesses and thoughtfulnesses of race prejudice, that out of such juxtaposition we may, perhaps, deduce some rule of beauty and life or death?
To my mind there speaks, in this last sentence, something unusual too as regards the writer, who, accustomed to the "compliments and special attentions" which other young men paid her, could yet appreciate and admire these delicate thoughtfulnesses which this young man, who saw so much further into the inner heart and meaning of things, loved to show to his own mother and sisters instead of to other people's sisters, as was and is the ordinary way of most young men.
He thought of a thousand little intimacies, cares, thoughtfulnesses, that she might have given him and received from him, and they were all made vital, real, by the now ardent memory of her in his arms, of the hands he had held in his own so often of late in the open. In the afternoon he grew disgusted with himself.
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