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The audience which judge a play by the effect of its "curtain," will not complain of a trifling illogicality in narrative, or a little juggling with what might happen if the story were life. Of what the editor wants I find a typical example in a recent number of a popular magazine.
Yet I confess that I have no comprehension of the Russian character. The illogicality of their attitude, the arbitrariness of their conclusions, the frequency of the exceptional, should present no difficulty to a student of many grammars; but there must be something else in the way, some special human trait one of those subtle differences that are beyond the ken of mere professors.
The illogicality of these sentiments is obvious. The man who is timid shuns society, yet nevertheless the judgments of this same society are for him a question of absorbing interest. Timidity is, in effect, a disease of many forms, every one of which is founded upon illogicality. It is always a mental weakness.
He too must needs wear his four stars outside his Admiral's frock, to be a butt for sharpshooters. "In honour I gained them," he said to objectors, adding with sublime illogicality, "in honour I will die with them." Captain Douglas of the Royal Oak, when the Dutch fired his vessel in the Thames, sent his men ashore, but was burned along with her himself rather than desert his post without orders.
But, by a process which nobody can explain, in the union the art of cooking in hotels got mislaid." "Well," she said, with winning illogicality, "you've got me." "If you could only eat the breakfasts for me, as you can see the Monument for me!" "Dear, I could eat the Monument for you, if it would do you any good."
Many other sturdy romantic Englishmen say the same. They boast of our anomalies; they boast of our illogicality; they say it shows what a practical people we are. They are utterly wrong. Lord Macaulay was in this matter, as in a few others, utterly wrong. Anomalies do matter very much, and do a great deal of harm; abstract illogicalities do matter a great deal, and do a great deal of harm.
"Those murdering fiends, who made you suffer so!" she cried, and added with feminine illogicality: "I'm not sorry, after all, that they're in prison! I'm glad they've got their just deserts. Oh, Ramon, I've been afraid to distress you by asking you, but did you tell the truth at the trial all the truth, I mean? Was that really all you remember?" "Yes, dear," he replied a trifle wearily.
"If you think that if your whole story turns out that way why did you " But he paused, unwilling to force her by a brutal proof of illogicality. "How is he?" he asked at last, with effort. Her head had drooped forward, but with this question she moved quickly, as if suddenly lashed. "He is better, always better." "My God!" the man groaned. "But his mind is weaker it wanders.
Not that he had the least desire to cling to the Bible class, even as an alternative to the shop! No! He was much relieved to be rid of the Bible class. What overset him was the crude illogicality of the new decree, and the shameless tacit admission of previous insincerity.
Suppose a man tried to find people in London by the names of the places. It would make a fine farce, illustrating our illogicality. Our hero having once realised that Buckingham Street was named after the Buckingham family, would naturally walk into Buckingham Palace in search of the Duke of Buckingham. To his astonishment he would meet somebody quite different. He would find the Prince of Wales.
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