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She is the dearest old thing that ever was seen, with the loveliest silver hair, and must have been surpassingly beautiful, I should say. She keeps on reminding me of someone, and I can't tell who. It may be Daphne Palliser's grandmother-in-law, or it may be old Madame Edelweissenstein, who's a chanoinesse.
I pushed it open, went in, and saw a very old man, his head bound with a red-silk handkerchief, bolstered in bed. His wife, grandmother-in-law, sat by the fire reading a great Bible. "Marm Tamor, will you please show me Ruth and Boaz?" I asked. She complied by turning over the leaves till she came to the picture. "Did Ruth love Boaz dreadfully much?"
But Granny, of course, was joking, that was why she did not explain that deer tripe filled with blood was as great a delicacy as a suitor could offer his prospective grandmother-in-law; for among certain forest tribes, it is the custom that a marriageable daughter leaves the lodge of her parents and takes up her abode with her grandmother that is, if the old lady is living within reasonable distance.
Into all lives a certain amount of mother-in-law must fall, but I not only have that, but a grandmother-in-law as well, and maiden-aunt-in-law, and the Lord knows what else-in-law besides. I must say that as far as my mother-in-law is concerned I've had more luck than most men, because Mrs. Talbert comes pretty close to the ideal in mother-in-legal matters. She is gentle and unoffending.
"That's my late wife's grandmother," explained the widower; "she is a cross-grained old catamaran, and the reason she eyed you so unpleasantly is that she knows I have brought you here to take her place. Make haste and learn your work, Cherry, for I want to send the cross old dame about her business," which was hardly a respectful way in which to speak of his grandmother-in-law.
Accordingly the woman so honoured makes an offering of cakes and oil to the souls of her mother-in-law, grandmother-in-law, and great-grandmother-in-law, in gratitude for their giving her a good husband.
"When I was in my cradle, a century ago," said Wimp's grandmother-in-law, "men were hanged for stealing horses." They silenced her with snapdragon performances. Wimp was busy thinking how to get at Grodman's factotum. Grodman was busy thinking how to get at Wimp's domestic. Neither received any of the usual messages from the Christmas Bells. The next day was sloppy and uncertain.
Many yarns were invented to explain his being with us. It was as if "John D." should be found peddling hair-oil. Some said he had murdered his grandmother-in-law and dare not pass the time of day with Mr. Murphy in blue. Others claimed that the crime was far greater the murder of a stately ship and that the marine underwriters would have paid handsomely for the knowledge of his whereabouts.
He quite enjoyed the fun that was coming, for he knew that Wimp had not invited him out of mere "peace and goodwill." There was only one other guest at the festive board. This was Wimp's wife's mother's mother, a lady of sweet seventy. Only a minority of mankind can obtain a grandmother-in-law by marrying, but Wimp was not unduly conceited. The old lady suffered from delusions.
'I shall be very glad to go to Grasmere myself, and to make the acquaintance of my future grandmother-in-law, said Mr. Smithson. 'You will be charmed with her. She belongs to the old school something of a fossil, perhaps, but a very dignified fossil. She has grown old in a rustic seclusion, and knows less of our world than a mother abbess; but she has read immensely, and is wonderfully clever.
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