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'I cannot help it, sir, says she; 'I am the widow of an officer of Britain's Navy: I was taught to honour my Church and my King: and I cannot bear a Radical or a Dissenter. With these fine principles I found Sackville Maine impressed. 'Wagley, said he, to my introducer, 'if no better engagement, why shouldn't self and friend dine at the "Oval?" Mr.
One more lump of sugar, if you please, my dear madam. It was lucky Wagley gave her this opportunity to elude the question, for it prostrated the whole worthy family among whom we were. They telegraphed each other with wondering eyes. Mrs. Chuff's stories about the naval nobility grew quite faint and kind little Mrs.
We pointed out to the parvenus that the Lambtons and the Stuarts sold coals: we mollified the proud by accounts of his good birth, good nature, and good behaviour; and Wagley went about on the day of election, describing with great eloquence, the action between the 'Pitchfork' and the 'Furibonde, and the valour of Captain Maine, our friend's father.
The misfortune which befell the simple and good-natured young Sackville, arose entirely from that abominable 'Sarcophagus Club; and that he ever entered it was partly the fault of the present writer. For seeing Mrs. 'Lord Sextonbury, says I, 'seems to have recovered her ladyship's death. He and the Duke were very jolly over their wine at the "Sarcophagus" last night; weren't they, Wagley?
Snob, sir, the mutton's coming off the spit at this very minute. Laura and Mrs. 'This is better than dining at the "Sarcophagus," thinks I to myself, at which Club Wagley and I had intended to take our meal; and so we accepted the kindly invitation, whence arose afterwards a considerable intimacy.
'Hush! says he; and the gentleman with whom he was talking moved off, with rather a discomfited air. When he was gone Wagley burst out laughing. 'COAL-BLACK eyes! said he; 'you've just hit it. That's Mrs. Sackville Maine, and that was her husband who just went away. He's a coal-merchant, Snob my boy, and I have no doubt Mr. Perkins's Wallsends are supplied from his wharf.
All this, though the old dowager told us the story every day when the wine was produced, never served to get rid of any quantity of it and the green ginger, though it had fired British tars for combat and victory, was not to the taste of us peaceful and degenerate gents of modern times. I see Sackville now, as on the occasion when, presented by Wagley, I paid my first visit to him.
The pleasures of Clubs have been spoken of: let us now glance for a moment at the dangers of those institutions, and for this purpose I must introduce you to my young acquaintance, Sackville Maine. It was at a ball at the house of my respected friend, Mrs. Perkins, that I was introduced to this gentleman and his charming lady. 'Which? says Wagley. 'That one with the coal-black eyes, I replied.
'Good fellow, the Duke, Wagley replied. Last June, his Grace, his son Lord Castlerampant, Tom Smith, and myself were dining at the Club, when I offered the odds against DADDYLONGLEGS for the Derby forty to one, in sovereigns only. His Grace took the bet, and of course I won. He has never paid me. Now, can I ask such a great man for a sovereign?
Why Why did I and Wagley ever do so cruel an action as to introduce young Sackville Maine into that odious 'Sarcophagus'? Let our imprudence and his example be a warning to other gents; let his fate and that of his poor wife be remembered by every British female. The consequences of his entering the Club were as follows:
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