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"Yes, there has," was the decided answer. "First Ase Tidditt, and then Bailey Bangs, and then that that Angie Phinney." "Humph!" mused Captain Cy slowly. "So Angie was here, was she? Where the carcass is the vultures are on deck, or words similar. Humph! Did our Angelic friend have much to say?" "DID she? And I had somethin' to say, too! I never in my life!" "Humph!" Her employer eyed her sharply.
His wife tartly observed that, if WORK was the cause of it, she guessed he was safe from palsy for quite a spell yet. At any rate, a marked recovery set in and he signaled no more during the meal. But when it was over, and his task as dish-wiper completed, he hurried out of doors and found Mr. Tidditt, shivering in the November wind, on the front porch. "Now what is it?" asked Asaph sharply.
"Guess 'twill be different when I get down street, hey? Don't cal'late Tad and Angie 'll shed the joyous tear over me. Never mind; long's my friends are glad I don't care about the rest." The Board looked at each other. "Tad?" repeated Bailey. "And Angie? What you talkin' about? Why, they Ugh!" The last exclamation was the result of a tremendous dig in the ribs from the Tidditt fist.
Tidditt was wearing a crocheted scarf of a brilliant crimson hue, particularly becoming to his complexion. The complexion now brightened until it was almost a match for the tie. "Oh!" he said, with elaborate indifference. "That? Yes, it's new. Yesterday was my birthday, and Matildy Tripp she knew I needed a necktie, so she give me this one." "Oh! One she knit purpose for you, then? Dear me!
The latter looked it over, made a few comments and suggestions, and told his friend to heave ahead and land as many of the listed as possible. This Mr. Tidditt promised to do, and, replacing the papers in his pocket, started for the gate. "Oh! Say, Ase!" The town clerk, his hand on the gate latch, turned. "Well, what is it?" he asked. "Don't keep me no longer'n you can help.
Bangs stopped short in his double-quick march for home and dinner, and looked his companion in the face. "Ase Tidditt!" he cried. "Do you mean to tell me you've had a letter from Heman Atkins, from Washin'ton?" Asaph nodded portentously. "Yes, sir," he declared. "A letter from the Honorable Heman G. Atkins, of Washin'ton, D. C., come to me last night. I read it afore I turned in." "You did!
"Ase," he observed irrelevantly when the five Tidditt, Georgianna, Bailey, Bos'n, and himself were at last alone again in the sitting room, "it DON'T pay to tip over a monument, does it not out in public, I mean. You wouldn't want to see me blow up Bunker Hill, would you?" "Blow up Bunker Hill!" repeated Asaph in alarmed amazement. "Godfrey scissors! I believe you're goin' loony.
"Yes, do," urged the captain eagerly. "You'll find me here waitin'. Good news or not, do come. I I ain't said all I wanted to, myself." He returned to the sitting room. The town clerk was standing by the stove. He looked troubled. "What's the row, Ase?" asked Cy cheerily. He was overflowing with good nature. "Oh, nothin' special," replied Mr. Tidditt. "You look joyful enough for two of us.
What shall I write; the life of Ase Tidditt in four volumes, beginning with 'I swan to man' and ending with 'By godfrey'?" "You might do worse. If the book were as funny as its hero I'd undertake to sell a few copies." "Funny! I couldn't write a funny book." "Not an intentionally funny one, you mean. But there! There's no use to talk to you." "There is not, if you talk like an imbecile.
"Angie!" sniffed Mr. Tidditt. "Stop your jokin', Bailey. This is a serious matter." "I wan't jokin'. What " "There! there! boys," interrupted the captain; "don't fight. Bailey didn't mean to joke, Ase; he's full of what the papers call 'unconscious humor. I'll give in that Angie is about as serious a matter as I can think of without settin' down to rest.
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