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Yollop's eye, "if you insist on a civil answer, it's Smilk." "Smith?" "No, NOT Smith," hastily and earnestly; "Smilk, S-m-i-l-k." "Smilk?" "Smilk." "Extraordinary name. I've never heard it before, have you?" The rascal blinked. "Sure. It was my father's name before me, and my " "Look me in the eye!" "I am lookin' you in the eye. It's Smilk, Cassius Smilk." "Sounds convincing," admitted Mr. Yollop.

"By gosh, nobody ever wanted the police more than I do at this minute," gulped Mr. Smilk. He was perspiring freely. "Hello! What's the number of this, " "418 Sagamore Terrace." Into the transmitter: "To 418 Sagamore Terrace, third floor front. Burglar. Hurry up!" Telephone: "What's yer name?" Smilk, to Yollop: "What is my name?" Mr. Yollop: "Crittenden Yollop."

"Goodness gracious, Crittenden," she cried irritably, "don't you know what time of night it " She broke off abruptly as Mr. Smilk, with a great clatter, yanked his remaining foot from the drawer and arose, overturning the swivel-chair in his haste. "Well, for the love of " oozed from his gaping mouth. Suddenly he turned his face away and hunched one shoulder up as a sort of shield.

"Well, jiggle it again." "Rottenest telephone service in the world," growled Mr. Smilk. "When you think what we have to pay for telephones these days, you'd think hello! Hell lo!" "Got her?" "I thought I had for a second, but I guess it was somebody yawning." "Awning?" "Say, if you'll hold that thing around so's I can talk at it, you'll hear what I'm saying. How do you expect me to hello! Central?

"I'm glad you reminded me of it. I want to call the police." "Well, I'm not hindering you, am I?" "In a way, yes. How can I call them and keep an eye on you at the same time?" "I'll tell what I'll do," said Cassius Smilk obligingly. "I'll take a message 'round to the police station for you." "Ah! That gives me an idea. You shall telephone to the police for me.

With the same amount of energy you expend in smokin' one cigar you could smoke between thirty and forty cigarettes, and being sort of gradual, you wouldn't begin to feel half as fatigued as if you " "Did I understand you to say 'scientifically', or was it satirically?" "I'm tryin' to use common, every-day words, Mr. Shallop," said Mr. Smilk, with dignity, "and I wish you'd do the same." "Ahem!

He carefully avoided any allusion to certain portions of the lengthy and illuminating dialogue that had taken place between him and Smilk; he said nothing of the unexampled behavior of the intruder in telephoning for the police, or the kindness revealed by him in suggesting a means for getting his captor's feet warm.

Smilk, in the first row, venomously addressing Mr. Smilk: "So that's what you was up to when you was out for six months and never come near me once, you dirty " All bailiffs in unison: "Silence! Order in the court!" The State, presently: "Was he a good, kind, devoted husband to you, Mrs. Morton?" Witness: "Well, if you mean did he provide me with clothes and jewels and gewgaws and all such, yes.

Well, among other things, she wondered if it would be possible to get an injunction against the court to prevent him from depriving her of her only means of support. She says everybody is getting injunctions these days and " "Bosh!" said Smilk, but not with conviction. An anxious, inquiring gleam lurked in his eyes. Mr. Yollop continued: "I told her it was ridiculous, and it is.

"Every time I think of all that you robbed me of, I I " began Mr. Smilk, shakily. "Don't blubber, Cassius," said Mr. Yollop consolingly. "You see, my dear Alice, Mr. Smilk thinks, and maintains, that you did him a dirty trick when you had him turned out into a wicked, dishonest world.