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And to do him credit, his nasal accent and piercing shrill voice made him a capital substitute for the hired regular Methodist preacher. He could be heard for nearly a mile distant calling on the brethern and sistern to come to heaven. "O, let us come!" he would cry; "we were made and intended for heaven. I see the shining seats, I see the crystal fountains, I see the Lord sitting on the throne.
And now, brethern and sistern, I guess we might as well pass up the first three heads and come immediately to the fo'th infant baptism." Here is a story of the late Lord Haversham's schooldays.
Ray rose, had his collar and tie off in two jocund jerks, buttoned his collar on backward, cheerily turned his waistcoat back side foremost, lengthened his face to an expression of unctuous sanctimoniousness, and turned about transformed in one minute to a fair imitation of a stage curate. With his hands folded, Ray droned, "Naow, sistern, it behooveth us heuh in St.
I don't mind your Methodist sistern walking wide of me, but it's another punch when these dubs who are smoking my cigars at the club fail to invite me to their houses." Bertha looked at him reflectively throughout this speech, putting a different interpretation on the neglect he complained of. But his pleasure in Charles' company was too genuine to be disturbed, and so she endured.
On every face was written expectancy. Deacon Gramps presided of course. He arose from his seat, flung his quid of tobacco out of the window, squared himself against the pulpit, adjusted his eyeglasses near the point of his nose, and looking over them he addressed the assembly thus: "My brethering and sistern, we have met as members of the grand old Mount Olivet Church.
He said he'd try to meet the deputation's wishes and the following Sunday he announced as his text, 'Adam, Where Art Thou? "This text, brethern and sistern, said the preacher, 'can be divided into fo' heads. Fust, every man is somewhar. Second, most men is whar they hain't got no business to be. Third, you'd better watch out or that's whar you'll be yourself. Fo'th, infant baptism.
Sez I, "Do you git down and pull down your bask, and wipe your nose and eyes; you look like fury, Selinda Dagget." "No," sez she; "Bizer wanted me to ride, and I shall die a-pleasin' him. I took vows of obedience onto me at the altar, and if I die here, Sister Allen, tell the female sistern at Jonesville that I died a-keepin' them vows."
De niggers all prance in de doh, an' stand 'round de table, 'spressin' deyse'ves so proud of dem candles on sich a purty cake. Ole Zack stand at de haid an' say: 'Mah bruddern an' sistern, dis am a 'mentous 'ccasion!
Goin' to pre-empt my claim, too. I've got a month's leave, and I'll follow him and marry that girl before he gets far. Bruddern and sistern, sing de ole six hundredth toon. Ahem! I wish I was a married man, A married man I'd be! An' ketch the grub fer both of us A-fishin' in the sea. Big fish, Little fish, It's all the same to me! I got a organ stop in my throat.
And agin Josiah sez: "I know I am a leadin' man in Jonesville and have been called more'n once a pillar in the meetin'-house, but never, never do I want to be made a statter with a sass pan on my head, and the bretheren and sistern kissin' my toes." And agin I sez, "It hain't a sass pan."
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