United States or Nauru ? Vote for the TOP Country of the Week !
'A man, he says, 'that has th' ticker eye, he says, 'or th' coupon thumb, he says, 'is cured in no time, he says. 'Come, he says, 'fly with me, he says. 'They'se nawthin' to keep ye here, he says. 'Ivry wan iv th' cab'net, includin' th' Sicrety iv War, 'll stick to his place, he says, 'like a man, he says. "An' Mack wint with him.
I will give him a chat an' a dhrink f'r fifteen cints; an', as we're not, as a frind iv mine in th' grocery an' pothry business says, intirely a commercial an' industhreel nation, if he has th' Sicrety iv th' Threasury with him, I'll give thim two f'r twinty-five cints, which is th' standard iv value among civilized nations th' wurruld over. Prisidint iv th' United States, says ye?
'Behold, says Sampson, 'th' insolince iv th' foe, he says. 'For-rm in line iv battle, an' hur-rl death an' desthruction at yon Castilyan gin'ral. 'Wait, says an officer. 'It may be wan iv our own men. It looks like th' Sicrety iv' 'Hush! says th' commander. 'It can't be an American jackass, or he'd speak, he says.
Some iv th' boys expicts to come up to Peking nex' week, an' th' people along th' line iv th' railroad are gettin' ready f'r thim. This is really all the news I have, excipt that cherries ar-re ripe. Me pin is poor, me ink is dhry, me love f'r you can niver die. Give me regards to Sicrety Hay whin he wakes up. I remain, illusthrus cousin iv th' risin' dawn, thruly ye'ers, Li.
But, seein' that on'y thim is iligible that are unfit, he has th' divvle's own time selectin'. F'r Sicrety iv State, if he follows all iv what Casey calls recent precidints, he's limited to ayether a jack-leg counthry lawyer, that has set around Washington f'r twinty years, pickin' up a dollar or two be runnin' errands f'r a foreign imbassy, or a judge that doesn't know whether th' city of Booloogne-sure-Mere, where Tynan was pinched, is in Boolgahria or th' County Cavan.
He must be a man competint f'r to avoid such pitfalls an' snares, so 'tis th' rule f'r to have him hang on to his job with th' thrust afther he gets to Washington. This keeps him in touch with th' business intherests. "F'r Sicrety iv War, th' most like wan is some good prisident iv a sthreet-car company.
"Whin th' sicrety iv th' threasury wants to repoort to him, he starts fr'm his office on his stomach an' wriggles into th' august prisince. 'What is it ye want, oh head iv lignum vity? says th' Sultan. 'Bark f'r th' ladies, says he with a chuckle. 'Oh, descindant iv th' prophet, whose name be blest!
"Th' Sicrety iv th' Threasury was followed be th' Gin'ral Shafter. 'Gintlemen, says he, 'it gives me, he says, 'gr-reat pleasure, he says, 'to be prisint in th' mist iv so manny an' so various vittles, he says.
Th' Sicrety iv th' Treasury followed with a gran' speech, highly commindin' th' action iv th' threasury department durin' th' late war; 'but, says he, 'I cannot, he says, 'so far forget mesilf, he says, 'as not to mintion, he says, 'that, he says, 'if it hadn't been f'r the sublime pathreetism an' courage, he says, 'iv th' gintleman whom we honor, he says, 'in puttin' me on th' foorce, he says, 'I might not be here to-night, he says.
Th' sicrety iv state is settin' in his office feelin' blue because he's just heerd be a specyal corryspondint iv th' London Daily Pail at Sydney, Austhreelya, who had it fr'm a slatewriter in Duluth that an ar- rmy iv four hundherd an' eight thousan' millyon an' sivinty-five bloodthirsty Chinee, ar-rmed with flatirnes an' cryin', 'Bung Loo! which means, Hinnissy, 'Kill th' foreign divvles, dhrive out th' missionries, an' set up in Chiny a gover'mint f'r the Chinee, is marchin' on Vladivostook in Siberyia, not far fr'm Tinsin."
Word Of The Day