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The decision was in the following words, viz.: "Rex et Regina versus No. 1, sea-water-color: ordered, that the officers of justice shall proceed forthwith to decaudizate the defendant before they decapitate him; provided he has not been forthwith decapitated before he can be decaudizated."
You will be taken, Noah Poke, or No. 1, sea-water-color, forthwith, to the centre of the public square, between the hours of sunrise and sunset of this day, where your cauda will be cut off; and after it has been divided into four parts, a part will be exposed towards each of the cardinal points of the compass; and the brush thereof being consumed by fire, the ashes will be thrown into your face, and this without benefit of clergy.
My brother Downright, who was impatiently expecting my appearance, instantly arose and moved the bench to issue a mandamus for a stay of execution in the case of "Regina versus Noah Poke, or No. 1, sea-water-color.
And may the Lord have mercy on your soul!" "Noah Poke, or No. 1, sea-water-color," put in Baron Longbeard, without giving the culprit breathing-time, "you have been indicted, tried, and found guilty of the enormous crime of charging the queen-consort of this realm of being wanting in the ordinary, important, and every-day faculty of a memory.
On this point the twelve judges decided, firstly, that forthwith did not mean forthwith; secondly, that forthwith did mean forthwith; thirdly, that forthwith had two legal meanings; fourthly, that it was illegal to apply one of these legal meanings to a wrong legal purpose; and fifthly, that the objection was of no avail, as respected the case of No. 1, sea-water-color.
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