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"Th' Sicrety iv th' Threasury was followed be th' Gin'ral Shafter. 'Gintlemen, says he, 'it gives me, he says, 'gr-reat pleasure, he says, 'to be prisint in th' mist iv so manny an' so various vittles, he says.
'Give me, he says, 'a chanst an' I'll projooce th' kind iv organ that'd be got out in hiven, he says, 'price five cints a copy, he says, 'f'r sale be all newsdealers; f'r advertisin' rates consult th' cashier, he says. So a man in Topeka that had a newspaper, he says: 'I will not be behindhand, he says, 'in histin' Kansas up fr'm its prisint low an' irrellijous position, he says.
'Tenshin, Jocko!" cried he, patting his shoulder, to which his friend the monkey at once jumped from the tree; and then, turning to my sister, he said, with a roguish look in his black eyes, "Oi've brought ye a little prisint, Miss Jenny, ez Oi hopes ez how ye'll be afther acceptin'." Jenny smiled. "What," said she "a monkey?"
I'm settin' in the palace with me feet on th' pianny. Write soon. I won't get it. So no more at prisint, fr'm ye'er ol' frind an' well-wisher, George Dooley. "How ar-re they goin' to stop him? How ar-re they goin' to stop him? There's Mack on th' shore bawlin' ordhers. 'Come back, he says. 'Come back, I command ye, he says. 'George, come back, he says. 'Th' war is over, he says.
"I beg your pardon," says his Riv'rence, "that's not the cork at all," says he; "I dhrew the cork a good two minits ago, and it's very purtily spitted on the end ov this blessed corkshcrew at this prisint moment; howandiver you can't see it, because it's only its real prisince that's in it.
In Austhree where this happened whin a man dies ivrybody comes in to see him. Ye meet a frind on th' sthreet an' he says: 'Come on over an see Harrigan jump off. So whin th' la-ad is r-ready f'r to go out ivry body gathers in his room. 'Tis a fash'nable ivint, like th' Horse Show. Among those prisint is his mother.
So de king, whut he name old Skull-an'-Bones, he step on top ob li'l Mose's head, an' he say: "Gin'l'min, de convintion will come to order. De sicretary please note who is prisint. De firs' business whut come before de convintion am: whut we gwine do to a li'l black boy whut stip on de king an' maul all ober de king an' treat de king dat disdespictful."
At prisint th' Chief Magistrate was in th' kitchen with his daughter settin' on his head. "'Th' speech was received with loud cheers, an' th' mob proceeded down Pinnslyvanya Avnoo. Be noon all enthrances to th' capital were jammed. Congressmen attimptin' to enter were seized be th' hair iv th' head an' made to sign a pa-aper promisin' to vote right.
Ye see, darlin', I towld him ye wos buildin' a palace in the say, to put ships in afther they wos wrecked on the coast of Ameriky, so ye couldn't be expected to send home much money at prisint. An' he just said, 'Well, well, Kathleen, you may just kaip the cow, and pay me whin ye can'. So put that off yer mind, my swait Ned.
"Holdin' on cud do annything," he assured the barman. "It isn't a bad wurrld, at all, if wan looks at it through grane glasses. "Shure, I'm in a bit av a hole at prisint, but not too dape to crawl out of."
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