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'Give me, he says, 'a chanst an' I'll projooce th' kind iv organ that'd be got out in hiven, he says, 'price five cints a copy, he says, 'f'r sale be all newsdealers; f'r advertisin' rates consult th' cashier, he says. So a man in Topeka that had a newspaper, he says: 'I will not be behindhand, he says, 'in histin' Kansas up fr'm its prisint low an' irrellijous position, he says.
"'I follow ye like a horse afther a hay wagon, says th' prisident, 'hungrily, but unsatisfacthrly. Ye do not prove that th' throuble was symotic, mong expert. "'Parfictly, says Moosoo Bertillon. 'I will have me assistants put up a screen, an' on this I will projooce ividince' "'Go away, says th' prisident. 'Call Colonel Prystalter.
If ye can't projooce her in a week, I'll fix ye. An' let that be th' end iv it. "But what do they do? They get Lootgert into coort an' stand him up befure a gang iv young rayporthers an' th' likes iv thim to make pitchers iv him. Thin they summon a jury composed iv poor tired, sleepy expressmen an' tailors an' clerks. Thin they call in a profissor from a colledge.
What, for you to insult your ole pal again by tellin' him he might drink all the water in this here spring, mebby, or inflooence the morals of the cattle, or steal the wire off the fence? Huh! I thought I was your pal?" "Oh, Red, quit kiddin'. Don't you see I got orders? I got orders." "You're gettin' civilized fast, all right. The first thing civilization does is to projooce hobos and bums.
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