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I stared at him. "Then what on earth did you suggest the scheme for?" "To tell you the truth, sir, I was not wholly averse from a severance of my relations with Miss Watson. In fact, I greatly desired it. I respect Miss Watson exceedingly, but I have seen for a long time that we were not suited. Now, the other young person with whom I have an understanding " "Great Scott, Jeeves!
She turned up one morning while I was still in bed sipping tea and thinking of this and that. Jeeves flowed in with the announcement that he had just loosed her into the sitting-room. I draped a few garments round me and went in. There she was, sitting in the same arm-chair, looking as massive as ever. The only difference was that she didn't uncover the teeth, as she had done the first time.
"Very well, then, Jeeves. We must act. How much gin did you put in the jug?" "A liberal tumblerful, sir." "Would that be a normal dose for an adult defeatist, do you think?" "I fancy it should prove adequate, sir." "I wonder. We must not spoil the ship for a ha'porth of tar. I think I'll add just another fluid ounce or so." "I would not advocate it, sir. In the case of Lord Brancaster's parrot "
Especially if the girl he had earmarked was one of these tough modern thugs, all lipstick and cool, hard, sardonic eyes, as she probably was. "Tell me, Jeeves," I said, wishing to know the worst, "what sort of a girl is this girl of Gussie's?" "I have not met the young lady, sir. Mr. Fink-Nottle speaks highly of her attractions." "Seemed to like her, did he?" "Yes, sir." "Did he mention her name?
Here was Jeeves making heavy weather about me wearing a perfectly ordinary white mess jacket, a garment not only tout ce qu'il y a de chic, but absolutely de rigueur, and in the same breath, as you might say, inciting Gussie Fink-Nottle to be a blot on the London scene in scarlet tights. Ironical, what? One looks askance at this sort of in-and-out running. "What has he got against Pierrots?"
More and more, it was beginning to be borne in upon me what a particularly difficult chap Gussie was to help. He seemed to so marked an extent to lack snap and finish. With infinite toil, you manoeuvred him into a position where all he had to do was charge ahead, and he didn't charge ahead, but went off sideways, missing the objective completely. "Difficult, Jeeves." "Yes, sir."
Absolutely hang on your words. A brightish idea, what? I doubt if Jeeves in person could have thought up a better one than that. Well, pitch it strong, old lad, and keep steadily before you the fact that I must have my allowance raised. I can't possibly marry on what I've got now. If this film is to end with the slow fade-out on the embrace, at least double is indicated. Well, that's that.
I'm used to Jeeves now, but often in the days when he first came to me I've bitten my tongue freely on finding him unexpectedly in my midst. "Did you call, sir?" "Oh, there you are, Jeeves!" "Precisely, sir." "Jeeves, Mr. Bickersteth is still up the pole. Any ideas?" "Why, yes, sir. Since we had our recent conversation I fancy I have found what may prove a solution.
"I have already had occasion, Jeeves," I said rebukingly, "to comment on the way you say 'Well, sir' and 'Indeed, sir? I take this opportunity of informing you that I object equally strongly to your 'Sir? pure and simple. The word seems to suggest that in your opinion I have made a statement or mooted a scheme so bizarre that your brain reels at it.
"Well, I don't think there's anything more, is there? Tell Mr. Todd where I am when he gets here." "Very good, sir." I looked round the place. The moment of parting had come. I felt sad. The whole thing reminded me of one of those melodramas where they drive chappies out of the old homestead into the snow. "Good-bye, Jeeves," I said. "Good-bye, sir." And I staggered out.
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