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'So does mine, he says." "Well, th' dillygates met Mack an' they had a pleasant chat. 'Will ye, says they, 'inthervene an' whistle off th' dogs iv war? they says. 'Whisper, says Mack, th' tears flowin' down his cheeks.
'I will disguise mesilf as a moojik an' go over to th' tillygraft office an' summon a meetin' iv th' Powers, he says. "That's how it come about. All th' powers sint dillygates an' a g-reat manny iv th' weaknesses did so too. They met in Holland an' they have been devotin' all their time since to makin' war impossible in th' future.
Afther a man be th' name iv Martin, a sergeant-iv-arms, had addhressed th' meetin' twinty or thirty times, I kep no count iv him, th' chairman inthrojooced th' dillygates to nommynate th' big men. It wint all right with Hinnissy for a little while till a man got up an' shook his fist at th' chairman. 'What's that? what's that? says Hinnissy. 'What's that? he says.
So be th' time th' dillygates got to Europe it was: 'James, if thim br-rave but misguided Dutch appears, squirt th' garden hose on thim. I'll see th' British embassadure this afthernoon. Ye see, Hinnissy, 'twas ol' Kruger's play to keep on winnin' battles till th' dillygates had their say.
Ivrywhere th' dillygates tur-rns they see th' sign: 'This is me busy day. An' whin they get back home they can tell th' people they found th' United States exudin' sympathy at ivry pore 'marked private." "Don't ye think th' United States is enthusyastic f'r th' Boers?" asked the innocent Hennessy. "It was," said Mr. Dooley. "But in th' las' few weeks it's had so manny things to think iv.
"'Well, says Mack, 'sit down, he says. 'Rockyfeller, he says, 'tell Morgan f'r to fetch up a kag iv sherry wine, he says. 'Tom, he says, 'we've been frinds f'r years, he says. 'We have, says Tom. 'We've concealed it fr'm th' vulgar an' pryin' public, he says; 'but in our hear-rts we've been frinds, barrin' th' naygur dillygates at th' convintion, he says.
"Well, sir, whin th' dillygates see they cudden't do business in Europe, says they to thimsilves: 'We'll pike acrost th' ragin' sea, they says, 'an in th' home iv Wash'nton, Lincoln, an' Willum J. Bryan, ye bet we'll have a hearin', an' they got wan. Ivrybody's listenin' to thim. But no wan replies.
Whin th' Binivolent Assocyation iv Saloonkeepers holds its next meeting I'm goin' to propose to send dillygates to th' Young Ladies Christyan Timp'rance Union. It ought to be what th' unions call an affilyated organization." "Oh, well," said Mr. Hennessy, "they think they're doin' what's right." "An' they ar-re," said Mr. Dooley.
"What's that?" Mr. Hennessy asked. "Th' nation," said Mr. Dooley, "that fights with a couplin' pin extinds its bordhers at th' cost iv th' nation that fights with a clothes pole." "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "tis a fine rayciption th' Boer dillygates is havin' in this counthry." "They'll be out here nex' week," said Mr. Hennessy. "They will that," Mr.
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