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"He spoke to me friendly and squeedged my 'and, he did. S'elp me never, it's true. Gimme a black cloth on the corfin, my dear, and mind yer tell 'im to foller." "Yes, mammie, yes. I will-be sure I I Oh!" It was Glory's first death. John Storm had been through his first morning call that afternoon.
"Always fun to see a bloke swallow a wasp when 'e's corfin' up a fly," he said pleasantly. "Don't you see you've bunged up old Smith anyhow. If this parson's tale's O.K. why, Smith is 'ot. 'E's pretty 'ot. Well, what abart this Mrs. Smith the curate talks of, with her blarsted shyness transmigogrified into a blighted sharpness? Miss Gray ain't been very sharp, but I reckon she'll be pretty shy."
'Snatchum came this afternoon with a hand-truck and a corfin, explained the keeper. 'I was out at the time, and the missis thought it was all right so she let him have the key. Hunter and Crass looked blankly at each other. 'Well, this takes the biskit! said the latter as soon as he could speak. 'I thought you said you had settled everything all right with the old woman? said Hunter.
"Look 'ere, my lad, if I comes over there I'll twist yer tongue and tie it up behind yer 'ead, an' it wont be a Blighty yer'll 'ave no, it'll be a blooming' corfin." "Shut yer row, the two of you," Casey shouted, "yer like a couple wots been married a year, chewin' each others 'ead orf. Come yere an' give me a 'and, Stumpy."
He ses the quantities of stuff as 'e's took there and seen other tradesmen take was something chronic. Tons of it! 'What was the parson's name? asked Harlow. 'Belcher. You must 'ave noticed 'im about the town. A very fat chap, replied Philpot. 'I'm sorry you wasn't 'ere on Saturday to see the corfin plate. Frank called me in to see the wordin' when 'e'd finished it. It had on: "Jonydab Belcher.
'Blowed up! Busted! Exploded! All into pieces. But they swep' 'em all up and put it in a corfin and it's to be planted this afternoon.
'I reckon Crass and Slyme must be making a small fortune out of all these funerals, said Harlow. 'This makes the fourth in the last fortnight. What is it they gets for 'em? 'A shillin' for taking' 'ome the corfin and liftin' in the corpse, and four bob for the funeral five bob altogether. 'That's a bit of all right, ain't it? said Harlow.
Just as he was preparing to go out, the front door bell rang, and as he was going down to answer it he saw Bert White coming upstairs. The boy was carrying a flat, brown-paper parcel under his arm. 'A corfin plate, he explained as he arrived at the door. 'Wanted at once Misery ses you can do it at 'ome, an' I've got to wait for it. Owen and his wife looked at each other with intense relief.
'Why, didn't you know? there's another funeral on today? Didn't you see that corfin plate what Owen was writing in the drorin'-room last Saturday morning? 'No, I wasn't 'ere. Don't you remember I was sent away to do a ceilin' and a bit of painting over at Windley? 'Oh, of course; I forgot, exclaimed Philpot.
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