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As the trio drew nigh unto the leading company, Captain Trebizondi, coyly lurking behind its rear rank, shrilly screamed, "'A' Gompany! Royal Salutes! Present Arrrrms!" while a volunteer, late a private of the Loyal Whitechapel Regiment, and now an unwilling member of this corps of auxiliary troops, audibly ejaculated through one corner of his mobile mouth:

"The Officer commanding the leading company appears to be trying to hide," commented General Murger. Captain Trebizondi uncovered his face a face of great promise but no performance. "Will you march your company off, sir," shouted Colonel Dearman, "the battalion is waiting for you."

"'A' Company going this evening?" inquired the General. "Wouldn't hurry you, y'know, but I dine at nine." Captain Trebizondi remembered his parade-manners and threw a chest instead of a stomach. The jerk caused his helmet to tilt forward over his eyes and settle down slowly and firmly upon his face as a fallen cliff upon the beach beneath.

Bitterly did Captain Trebizondi regret his constant insistence upon the fact that he was senior Captain for he was given command of "A" Company, the post of honour and danger in front of all, and was implored to "pull it through" and not to stand staring like an owl when the Colonel said the battalion would advance; or turn to the left when he shouted "In succession advance in fours from the right of Companies".

"Tell off the battalion," said Colonel Dearman in his natural voice and an unnaturally crestfallen manner. Captain Trebizondi of "A" Company glared to his front, and instead of replying "Number One" in a loud voice, held his peace tight. But his lips moved constantly, and apparently Captain Trebizondi was engaged in silent prayer. "Tell off the battalion," bawled the Colonel again.

Like the Lady of Shallott he felt that the curse had come upon him. "Battalion will advance. Quick march," he shouted, as a safe beginning. But the Sergeant-Major had by this time fully explained to the sweating Captain Trebizondi that he should have given the order "Form fours. Left. Right wheel.

And the Colonel returned to his first venture and again announced to the battalion that it would advance in succession and in fours from the left of companies. It bore the news with equanimity and Captain Trebizondi visibly brightened at the idea of leaving the spot on which he had suffered and sweated but he took no steps in the matter personally. He tried to scratch his leg through his gaiter.

Then a drill corporal took it upon him to bawl Number One as Captain Trebizondi should have done, some one shouted Number Two from "B" Company, the colour-sergeant of "C" bawled Number Three and then, with ready wit, the Captains of "D," "E," and "F" caught up the idea, and the thing was done. So far so good.

Captain Trebizondi's lips moved constantly. "Will you tell off the dam battalion, Sir?" shouted the Colonel at the enrapt supplicant. Whether Captain Trebizondi is a Mohammedan I am not certain, but, if so, he may have remembered words of the Prophet to the effect that it is essential to trust in Allah absolutely, and expedient to tie up your camel yourself, none the less.

Captain Trebizondi was trusting in Allah perchance but he had not tied up his camel; he had not learnt his drill. And when Colonel Dearman personally and pointedly appealed to him in the matter of the battalion's telling-off, he turned round and faced it and said "Ah battalion er " in a very friendly and persuasive voice.