United States or Guam ? Vote for the TOP Country of the Week !
'Why don't ye take th' coal shovel to that little barbaryan, Mary Ellen? says I. 'We don't believe in corporeal punishment, says she. 'School shud be made pleasant f'r th' childher, she says. 'Th' child who's hair is bein' pulled is larnin' patience, she says, 'an' th' child that's pullin' th' hair is discovrin' th' footility iv human indeavor, says she.
'Is th' riferee again thim? 'I can't make it out, he says, while a tear sthud in his eye. 'Whin I think iv Leonidas at th' pass iv Thermometer, he says, 'an' So-an'-so on th' field iv Marathon an' This-or-that th' Spartan hero, he says, 'I cannot undherstand f'r th' life iv me why th' Greeks shud have been dhruv fr'm pillar to post be an ar-rmy iv slaves.
They want peace on earth an' th' way they propose to get it is be murdhrin' ivry man that don't agree with thim. They think we all shud do as they please. They're down on th' polis foorce an' in favor iv th' pop'lace, an' whin they've kilt a king they call on th' polis to save thim fr'm th' mob.
'Admit him, says McKinley; an' Master Willie enters, accompanied be his val-lay, his mah an' pah an' th' comity iv th' goluf club. 'Willie, says th' Prisident, 'ye ar-re enthrin' upon a gloryous car-eer, an' 'tis nic'ssry that ye shud be thurly examined, so that ye can teach th' glories iv civilization to th' tyr-ranies iv Europe that is supported be ye'er pah an' mah, he says.
Well, I'd got as far down as th' tariff an' was thryin' f'r to express me opinyon without swearin', whin who shud come in but Lafferty, that was sicrety iv McMahon, that was th' Main Guy in thim days, but aftherward thrun down on account iv him mixin' up between th' Rorkes an' th' Dorseys. Th' Main Guy Down Town said he wudden't have no throuble in th' ward, an' he declared McMahon out.
"I ran down th' road an' says I t' th' Dummy, 'I'll tie a rag on a stick an' whin ye see m' wavin' it come an' take yer dinner an' I'll take what's left! "I didn't wait fur no answer, but went and did what I shud.
He's away on pay-day duty at th' Coalmore mines west av here though by token, 'tis Billy Blythe at Banff shud be doin' ut, 'stead av me havin' tu sind a man from here. He shud be back on Number Four th' night." His twinkling orbs under their black smudge of eyebrow appraised the junior constable with faint, musing interest.
So I said to it 'To the right, Dobbin, my canny fellow; thou shalt be foddered at awd Betty Bell's t'night, and if a' be as it shud be, thou shalt hae a rest t'morrow tee, into the bargain. So Dobbin took away across the moor to Elsdon, just as natural as a Christian could hae done. Weel, when I reached Elsdon, and went into Betty Bell's, there were five o' my cronies sitting.
"I ain't been so thirsty sence I come round the Horn, in '50, an' we run short of water. Somebody'll get hurt ef thar' ain't no bitters on the old concern they will, or my name ain't Perkins." "Don't count yer chickings 'fore they're hetched, Perky," said one of the party, as he adjusted his domino under the rim of his hat. "'S'posin' ther' shud be too many for us?"
"An' why shud they hang thim, Hinnissy? Why shud they? I'm an honest man mesilf, as men go. Ye might have ye'er watch, if ye had wan, on that bar f'r a year, an' I'd niver touch it. It wudden't be worth me while. I'm an honest man. I pay me taxes, whin Tim Ryan isn't assessor with Grogan's boy on th' books. I do me jooty; an' I believe in th' polis foorce, though not in polismen. That's diff'rent.
Word Of The Day