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A dillygation iv Mormons has started fr'm dimmycratic headquarthers to thank Mack f'r his manly stand in favor iv poly-gamy an' th' raypublican comity has undher con-sideration a letther fr'm long term criminals advisin' their colleagues at large to vote f'r Willum Jennings Bryan, th' frind iv crime."
They had more gin'rals thin ye cud find in a Raypublican West Town convintion, an' ivry private was at laste a colonel. They made me uncle Mike a brigadier gin'ral. 'That 'll do f'r a time, says he; 'but, whin th' fun begins, I'll pull Dorney off his horse, an' be a major gin'ral, he says. An' he'd 've done it, too, on'y they was no fightin'.
Just say I'm a dimmycrat with sthrong raypublican leanings. Put it this way: I'm a dimmycrat, be a point raypublican, dimmycrat. Anny sailor man'll undherstand that. 'What'll I say ye'er platform is? 'Platform? 'Ye have to stand on a platform. 'I do, do I? Well, I don't. I'll stand on no platform, an' I'll hang on no sthrap. What d'ye think th'prisidincy is a throlley car?
'Go back to me gr-reat an' good frind an' tell him that th' hear-rt iv th' raypublican party throbs f'r him, he says. 'An' Sicrety Hay's, he says, 'an' mine, he says, 'unofficially, he says. 'Me official hear-rt, he says, 'is not permitted be th' constitootion to throb durin' wurrukin' hours, he says. "An' so it goes.
I like th' looks iv the job an' nobody seems to care f'r it, an' I've got so blame tired since I left th' ship that if I don't have somethin' to do I'll go crazy, he says. 'I wisht ye'd make a note iv it an' give it to th' other papers, he says. 'Ar-re ye a raypublican or a dimmycrat"? says the rayporter. 'What's that? says Cousin George.
'Tis curious what an effect an iliction has on th' Irish Raypublican vote. In October an Irish Raypublican's so rare people point him out on th' sthreet, an' women carry their babies to see him. But th' day afther iliction, glory be, ye run into thim ivrywhere, on th' sthreet-car, in the sthreet, in saloons principally, an' at th' meetin's iv th' Raypublican Comity.
I see be th' raypublican pa-apers that Andhrew Carnegie has come out f'r Bryan an' has conthributed wan half iv his income or five hundhred millyon dollars to th' campaign fund. In th' dimmycratic pa-apers I r-read that Chairman Jim Jones has inthercipted a letther fr'm the Prince iv Wales to Mack congratulatin' him on his appintmint as gintleman-in-waitin' to th' queen.
He might restore peace at home an' abroad be cuttin' in, but th' poor la-ad has other things to think iv. I'd like to see him. It must be near a year since he had a shave or a hair cut, barrin' ridges made be bullets as he cleared th' fences." "It looks to me as though th' raypublican is wr-rong," said Mr. Hennessy, with the judicial manner of a man without prejudices.
Jawn, he says, 'ar-rm ye'ersilf an' proceed to th' raypublican timple iv justice in Hogan's saloon an' have th' stanch an' upright Judge Blood prepare some good honest writs iv th' party iv Lincoln an' Grant, he says. 'In th' manetime, as th' constitootion has lost its sights an' the cylinder don't revolve, he says, 'I suspind it an' proclaim martial law, he says.
"'How does it go? says Thomas. 'Well, says I, 'it looks as though Ioway was sure raypublican, says I. 'Ioway? says he. 'What's that? says he. 'Ioway, says I, 'is a state, says I. 'I niver heerd iv it, says he. 'Faith ye did not, says I. 'But it's a state just th' same, an' full iv corn an' people, I says. 'An' why is it raypublican? says he.
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