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'Not a bit, replied the Yorkshireman, extending his mouth from ear to ear. 'There I lay, snoog in schoolmeasther's bed long efther it was dark, and nobody coom nigh the pleace. "Weel!" thinks I, "he's got a pretty good start, and if he bean't whoam by noo, he never will be; so you may coom as quick as you loike, and foind us reddy" that is, you know, schoolmeasther might coom.

He gave me a look. "How? This is third class!" I looked intelligently ignorant. "Il ne comprend pas francais" says the gentleman. "Ah!" says the conductor, "tease ease eye-ee thoorde claz tea-keat. You air een tea say-coend claz. You weel go ean-too tea thoorde claz weal you yes pleace at once?" So I got stung after all.

The pleace was obliged to come up and stop him dancing. His man told old Buzfuz upstairs, that the Marquis's goings on is hawful. Up till four or five every morning; blind hookey, shampaign, the dooce's own delight. That party have had I don't know how much in diamonds and they quarrel and swear at each other, and fling plates: it's tremendous. Tommy.

A farm-hand was first to note their call, and got such a case of wanderlust when he observed the geese that he kept on going without return to the house. He wrote, however, this significant news: "Jack: Wild guse on your pleace. Leve corn on wood-lot. He come back mabe. Steve." Jack Miner did just that; and the next year he left the corn a little nearer the house and so on.

We aal hed to get out, an' a chap in green clothes sed we shood hev to wait ten minits. Thur wur a lot gwain into a room, an' I seed they wur eatin' and drinkin'; so I ses to meself, "I be rayther peckish, I'll go in an' see if I can get summut." So in I goes; an' 'twer a vine pleace, wi' sum nation good-looking gurls a-waitin'. "I'll hev a half-quartern loaf," I sed.

The anshunt Britons never hed any tailory done, but thay wur all artists wi' the paint pot. The Consarvatives painted thurselves bloo, and the Radicals yaller, an' thay as danced the longest, the Roomans sent to Parlyment to rool the roost. I wur show'd the pleace wur the peeple started vor Lunnon.

I sed that wur very good accommodashun to hev XXX laid on vor use. We soon druv into the beggest pleace I wur ever in since I wur born'd. Thay sed 'twer Paddington, an' that I wur to get out, vor they wurn't a-gwain to drive no furder. I hed paid to go to Lunnon, an' thay shood drive all the way when thay wur paid avoor'and.

The doctor ses, 'Yo've got no blude in yer, Missus 'Ammersley, what 'ull yer 'ave? An I says, 'Nuthin! it's sun cut, an it's sun cooked, nuthin! Noa, I've niver bin on t' parish an I might times. An I don't 'old wi strikes. Lor, it is a poor pleace, is ours ain't it? an nobbut a bit o' bread an drippin for supper."