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Sez I, "Square, you wouldn't take a small post-offiss if you could git it, would you?" Sez he, "A patrit is abuv them things, sir!" "There's a putty big crop of patrits this season, ain't there, Squire?" sez I, when ANOTHER crowd of offiss seekers pored in.
The house, dooryard, barng & woodshed was now all full, and when ANOTHER crowd cum I told 'em not to go away for want of room as the hog-pen was still empty. One patrit from a small town in Michygan went up on top the house, got into the chimney and slid into the parler where Old Abe was endeverin to keep the hungry pack of orfice-seekers from chawin him up alive without benefit of clergy.
In my country we've got war, while your country, in conjunktion with Cap'n Sems of the "Alobarmy," manetanes a nootral position! I'm afraid I can't write goaks when I sit about it. Oh no, I guess not! Yes, Sir, we've got a war, and the troo Patrit has to make sacrifisses, you bet.
"But I workt hard for the ticket; I toiled night and day! The patrit should be rewarded!" "Virtoo," sed I, holdin' the infatooated man by the coat-collar, "virtoo, sir, is its own reward. Look at me!" He did look at me, and qualed be4 my gase. "The fact is," I continued, lookin' round on the hungry crowd, "there is scacely a offiss for every ile lamp carrid round durin' this campane.
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