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Why have you come to this land? 'To have a share in the campaign, I said. 'I'm an engineer, and I thought I could help out with some business like Mesopotamia. 'You are on Germany's side? she asked. 'Why, yes, I replied. 'We Americans are supposed to be nootrals, and that means we're free to choose any side we fancy. I'm for the Kaiser. Her cool eyes searched me, but not in suspicion.

We're that delicate-minded we can't interfere and that was what my friend, President Wilson, meant when he opined that America was too proud to fight. So we're nootrals. But likewise we're benevolent nootrals. As I follow events, there's a skunk been let loose in the world, and the odour of it is going to make life none too sweet till it is cleared away.

The recruiting office was just down the road in Whitehall at the old Scotland Yard office. I had an idea when I entered that recruiting office that the sergeant would receive me with open arms. He didn't. Instead he looked me over with unqualified scorn and spat out, "Yank, ayen't ye?" And I in my innocence briefly answered, "Yep." "We ayen't tykin' no nootrals," he said, with a sneer.

Also I recollected that we Americans were nootrals benevolent nootrals and that it did not become me to be butting into the struggles of the effete monarchies of Europe. So I stopped at home. It was a big renunciation, Major, for I was lying sick during the Philippines business, and I have never seen the lawless passions of men let loose on a battlefield.