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Must have cracked his skull on the cobblestones. I oughtn't to have got myself swept along with those medicals. And the Trinity jibs in their mortarboards. Looking for trouble. Still I got to know that young Dixon who dressed that sting for me in the Mater and now he's in Holles street where Mrs Purefoy. Wheels within wheels. Police whistle in my ears still. All skedaddled. Why he fixed on me.
All sanitary arrangements, all water supplies, and all public health matters from the North Sea to the Swiss border were handled by regular army officers. For the first time in history the medicals were considered so intimate a part of the fighting force that doctors held the same rank as executive officers. I was a major no longer a surgeon major or just a sanitary official.
I think it was in the early days just after we were embodied that we were given our medicals, it was a bit of a joke really, a cursory once-over with the stethoscope and an eyesight test on a standard eye chart at a range of five or six feet; for a hearing test the MO stuck a pocket watch in my left ear, "Can you hear that?" "Yes," I replied, then in my right ear, "and that?" "Yes."
"Can't think why Geraldine didn't pick up with a smart young fellow like Granet instead of an old stick like Thomson," he grumbled. "I hate these Army Medicals, anyway." "Major Thomson has a charming disposition," Lady Conyers declared warmly. "Besides, he will be very well off some day he may even get the baronetcy." "Who cares about that?" her husband grunted.
"I went yesterday to our friend Yegor Petrovitch's, and there I found a studious gentleman, one of your medicals in his third year, I believe. Such a face!... in the Dobrolubov style, the imprint of profound thought on his brow; we got into talk.
"If any one who may not just like an actual dissection, will look at one of Quain's 'Plates of the Bones, Muscles, and Nerves of the Human Body, he will see that, growing as it were out of the walls of the stomach, there are, in our wonderful human machine, great bunches of nerves, called, by the medicals, the 'great ganglionic system, and he will observe that these nerves are in intimate and inseparable connection with the spinal cord, and the brain.
'She was walking up and down the pier listening to the band with two of the rankest outsiders you ever set eyes on medicals out of Paddy Dunn's. Of course I could do nothing else but break it off. 'Oh, you were engaged to her, then? I didn't know. 'Well, I was and I wasn't. Anyhow, I thought it better to have a clear understanding.
"Oh, yes, Toddy, you do!" "Don't you call me that confounded name," growled Macfarlane. "Hear him! Did you ever see the lads play knife? He would like to do that all over my body," remarked the stranger. "We medicals have a better way than that," said Fettes. "When we dislike a dead friend of ours, we dissect him." Macfarlane looked up sharply, as though this jest were scarcely to his mind.
"Not much room in the eye-wound wards," he ponders; or, "A lot of empties in the medicals." And then ... the tinkle of the telephone.... "Another convoy expected at 6.15? Twenty walking-cases and seventeen cots. Right you are!"
Duelling was still a possibility; so much so that when two medicals fell to fisticuffs in Adam Square, it was seriously hinted that single combat would be the result. Last and most wonderful of all, Gall and Spurzheim were in every one's mouth; and the Law student, after having exhausted Byron's poetry and Scott's novels, informed the ladies of his belief in phrenology.
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