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He stepped close to him, held out his hand, and almost overwhelmed, he said: “Well, old man ... how are you?” But his voice failed him, he couldn’t achieve an appearance of ease; his face suddenly twitched and the corners of his mouth quivered. Ilusha smiled a pitiful little smile, still unable to utter a word. Something moved Kolya to raise his hand and pass it over Ilusha’s hair.
“Ah, we’ve heard of that exploit of yours, too,” cried the captain. “How could you lie still on the line? Is it possible you weren’t the least afraid, lying there under the train? Weren’t you frightened?” The captain was abject in his flattery of Kolya.
I said at the time that the bodice should be cut longer, and made of two widths. It was your fault, Sonia, with your advice to make it shorter, and now you see the child is quite deformed by it.... Why, you're all crying again! What's the matter, stupids? Come, Kolya, begin. Make haste, make haste! Oh, what an unbearable child! "Cinq sous, cinq sous. "A policeman again! What do you want?"
It was senseless enough before, so what could they do to make it more senseless? So they thought of Greek and Latin. That’s my opinion, I hope I shall never change it,” Kolya finished abruptly. His cheeks were flushed. “That’s true,” assented Smurov suddenly, in a ringing tone of conviction. He had listened attentively.
What strange questions you put to me to-day! But then they all pay money! Not I, then some one else would have paid isn't it all the same to you?" "And have you been in love with any one, Kolya? Confess! Well, now, if not in real earnest, then just so... at soul... Have you done any courting? Brought little flowers of some sort... Strolled arm-in-arm with her under the moon? Wasn't that so?"
And in spite of my disorderly life I must observe that I could not bear telling lies. "I remember that Kisotchka sat down at my feet, laid her head on my knees, and, looking at me with shining, loving eyes, asked: "'Kolya, do you love me? Very, very much?
"But what are you so stuck on your Jennka for," said Henrietta. "You might take me." "All right, another time," answered Kolya and nervously began to smoke. Jennka was not even beginning to dress yet. She was sitting before the mirror and powdering her face. "What is it, Tamarochka?" she asked. "Your little cadet has come to you. He's waiting."
One more, one more, the last, the very, very last question." "Oh, you!" growled Kolya displeased. "And could you never imagine... well, imagine it right now, even for a second... that your family has suddenly grown poor, become ruined.
“I have a contempt for you?” Alyosha looked at him wondering. “What for? I am only sad that a charming nature such as yours should be perverted by all this crude nonsense before you have begun life.” “Don’t be anxious about my nature,” Kolya interrupted, not without complacency. “But it’s true that I am stupidly sensitive, crudely sensitive. You smiled just now, and I fancied you seemed to—”
Kolya winced. “In the first place I am not thirteen, but fourteen, fourteen in a fortnight,” he flushed angrily, “and in the second place I am at a complete loss to understand what my age has to do with it? The question is what are my convictions, not what is my age, isn’t it?” “When you are older, you’ll understand for yourself the influence of age on convictions.
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