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In th' great hall iv Rufus some iv th' mightiest male intellecks in Britain slept undher their hats while an impassioned orator delivered a hem-stitched speech on th' subject iv th' day to th' attintive knees an' feet iv th' ministhry. It was into this here assimbly iv th' first gintlemen iv Europe that ye see on ye'er way to France that th' furyous females attimpted to enter.
Sez I, "my frens, it's troo I'm hear, & now bring on your Sperrets." 1 of the long hared fellers riz up and sed he would state a few remarks. He sed man was a critter of intelleck & was movin on to a Gole. Sum men had bigger intellecks than other men had and thay wood git to the Gole the soonerest. Sum men was beests & wood never git into the Gole at all.
It struck me that if this was Franklin a spiritooal life hadn't improved the old gentleman's intellecks particly. The audiens was mostly composed of rayther pale peple, whose eyes I tho't rolled round in a somewhat wild manner. But they was well-behaved, and the females kept saying, "How beautiful! What a surblime thing it is," et cetry, et cetry.
"The ways were cold for her cold, cold!" "A dacent lass," said John the Clerk; "and oughtn't to be buried with the common trash, seeing she's left money." "A hard-working woman, too, and on her feet for ever; but 'lowanced in her intellecks, for all," said Kelly. And Cæsar cried, "A brand plucked from the burning! Lord, give me more of the like at the judgment."
"Damn' fool 's bes' fren' I would herd 'th low-down intellecks nev' 'preciated no chance to be firs'-class bad man." And so Buck McKee, desperado, died like many another ambitious soul, with expressions of disappointment on his lips. A New Deal Bud Lane, returning to camp, saw the returned Sheriff supporting the dying murderer of Terrill, and listening to what was undoubtedly his confession.
This is a very respectable age, but it's pretty easily riled; and considerin upon how slight a provycation we who live in it go to cuttin each other's throats, it may perhaps be doubted whether our intellecks is so much massiver than our ancestors' intellecks was, after all. I allus ride outside with the cabman.
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