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'We have an even chanst at ivry other pursoot, he says, 'but 'tis on'y in craps we have a shade th' best iv it, he says." "So there ye ar-re, Hinnissy. An' what's it goin' to come to, says ye? Faith, I don't know an' th' naygurs don't know, an' be hivins, I think if th' lady that wrote th' piece we used to see at th' Halsted Sthreet Opry House come back to earth, she wudden't know.
"Here's th' pitchers iv candydates I pulled down fr'm th' windy, an' jus' knowin' they're here makes me that nervous f'r th' contints iv th' cash dhrawer I'm afraid to tur-rn me back f'r a minyit. I'm goin' to throw thim out in th' back yard. "All heroes, too, Hinnissy.
'I wud be in favor iv havin' th' rigimints get their feet round wanst a week, at laste, he says. 'Lave us, he says, 'reform th' reg'lations, he says, 'an' insthruct our sojers to keep their powdher dhry an' their whistles wet, he says." "Th' idee ought to take, Hinnissy, f'r th' other doctor la-ad has discovered that liquor is food.
Twict thirty-six is sivinty-two, less eight is sixty-four, an' nine, carry wan, let me see. Well, Hinnissy is ol' enough to know betther. "We wint to th' pond together, an' passed th' time iv day with our frinds an' watched th' boys an' girls playin' shinny an' sky-larkin' hand in hand. They come separate, Jawn; but they go home together, thim young wans.
This night he rode alongside th' carredge iv some iv his frinds goin' to th' other side iv town, an' come back alone in th' moonlight. Th' Irish ar-re poor marksmen, Hinnissy, except whin they fire in platoons; but that big man loomin' up in th' moonlight on a black horse cud no more be missed thin th' r-rock iv Cashel.
But th' customs iv th' neighbors are agin it. "But 'tis diff'rent with others, Hinnissy. Down be Mitchigan Avnoo marredge is no more bindin' thin a dhream. A short marrid life an' an onhappy wan is their motto. Off with th' old love an' on with th' new an' off with that. 'Till death us do part, says th' preacher. 'Or th' jury, whispers th' blushin' bride.
Won't annybody get up? Won't annybody say that they don't know annything about annything worth knowin' about? Thin, be Hivens, I will. All alone I'll stand up befure me class an' say: 'Hinnissy, about annything that can't be weighed on a scales or measured with a tape line I'm as ign'rant as ye'ersilf.
If I don't nail this large man, she'll prob'ly kick in me head. An' with this sacred sintimint in his heart he wint over an' jolted Corbett wan over th' lathes that retired him to th' home f'r decayed actors. "'Twas woman's love that done it, Hinnissy.
He's a Tip, an' can throw a stone like a rifleman; an', Hinnissy, I'm somethin' iv an amachoor shot with a half-brick mesilf. "Well, I've been thinkin' it over, an' I've argied it out that life'd not be worth livin' if we didn't keep our inimies. I can have all th' frinds I need. Anny man can that keeps a liquor sthore.
So be Roodyard Kipling. He doesn't come r-right out, an' say, 'Nick, ye're a liar! but he tells about what th' czar done to a man he knowed be th' name iv Muttons. Muttons, it seems, Hinnissy, was wanst a hunter; an' he wint out to take a shot at th' czar, who was dhressed up as a bear.
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