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'Sam, says she, 'I do believe you won't wind that 'ere twine off all night, do give it to January; I won't stay no longer, I'm e'enamost dead asleep. 'The old feller's arm is so plaguy onsteady, says I, 'it won't do; but hark, what's that, I'm sure I heerd something in the ash saplin', didn't you Sall? 'I heerd the geese there, that's all, says she, 'they always come under the windows at night; but she looked scared enough, and says she, 'I vow I'm tired a holdin' out of my arms this way, and I won't do it no longer; and down she throw'd the hank on the floor.
"Well, I'd been doin' a little business there among the folks, and had jist sot off for the river, mounted on Old Clay, arter takin' a glass of Ezra's most particular handsum Jamaiky, and was trottin' off pretty slick, when who should I run agin but Tim Bradley. He is a dreadful ugly, cross-grained critter, as you e'enamost ever seed, when he is about half-shaved.
'So I should think, said I, 'and it would be jist about as well, I guess, if he'd stay to home and mind his business, for your folks are so consoomedly ignorant, I reckon he's abroad e'enamost all his time.
Besides, I guess we are as far from perfection as when we set out a-rowin' for it. You may get purity of Election, but how are you to get purity of Members? It would take a great deal of ciphering to tell that. I never seed it yet, and never heerd tell of one who had seed it. "The best member I e'enamost ever seed was John Adams.
I think, says I, 'too, Minister, that that 'ere uncommon handsum cider of your'n desarves a pipe, what do you think? 'Well, says he, 'I think myself a pipe wouldn't be amiss, and I got some real good Varginny, as you e'enamost ever seed, a present from Rowland Randolph, an old college chum; and none the worse to my palate, Sam, for bringin' bygone recollections with it.
"Don't understand," said Horace: "say it in English." "Very much me want um," continued Wampum, in a beseeching tone. "No tell what you call um. E'enamost water, no quite water; e'enamost punkin, no quite punkin." "Poh! you mean watermelon," laughed Horace: "should think you'd remember that as easy as pumpkin." "Very much me want um," repeated Wampum, delighted at being understood; "me like um."
Our folks have their head a trifle too much, sometimes, particularly in elections, both in freedom of speech and freedom of press. One hadn't ought to blart right out always all that comes uppermost. A horse that's too free frets himself and his rider too, and both on 'em lose flesh in the long run. I'd e'enamost as lives use the whip sometimes, as to be for everlastinly a-pullin' at the rein.
The Yankees see further ahead than most folks; they can e'enamost see round t'other side of a thing; indeed some of them have hurt their eyes by it, and sometimes I think that's the reason such a sight of them wear spectacles. The first I ever heerd tell of Cumberland was from Mr. Everett of Congress; he know'd as much about it as if he had lived here all his days, and maybe a little grain more.
Well, you never heerd sich a shoutin' and clappin' of hands, and cheerin', in your life; they haw-hawed like thunder. Says I, 'Jehiel Quirk, that was a superb joke of your'n; how you made the folks larf, didn't you? You are e'enamost the wittiest critter I ever seed.
"In the last war with Britain, the Constitution frigate was close in once on the shores of Ireland, a-lookin' arter some marchant ships, and she took on board a pilot; well, he was a deep, sly, twistical lookin' chap, as you e'enamost ever seed. He had a sort of dark, down look about him, and a lear out of the corner of one eye, like a horse that's goin' to kick.
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