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Be th' time th' apparent an' hidjous majority iv th' raypublicans was rayjooced to nawthin' an' a good liberal, substantial, legal an' riotous dimmycratic majority put in its place be ordher iv th' coorts, th' commonwealth iv Kentucky an' Jack Chinn, th' raypublican has been so long in th'job an' has become so wedded to it that ye cuddent shake him out with a can iv joynt powdher.
A dillygation iv Mormons has started fr'm dimmycratic headquarthers to thank Mack f'r his manly stand in favor iv poly-gamy an' th' raypublican comity has undher con-sideration a letther fr'm long term criminals advisin' their colleagues at large to vote f'r Willum Jennings Bryan, th' frind iv crime."
'As a law abidin' citizen, says his ixcillincy, 'an' an official enthrusted be th' people iv this glad state with th' exicution iv th' statutes I bow to th' law, he says. 'But, he says, 'I'll be hanged if I'll bow to th' decree iv anny low browed pussillanimous dimmycratic coort, he says, 'Sojers, he says, 'seize this disturber iv th' peace an' stick him in th' cellar.
I'd been on th' cinthral comity to-day, but f'r me losin' ambition whin they r-run a man be th' name iv Eckstein f'r aldherman. I was sayin', Hinnissy, whin a man gets to be my age, he ducks pol-itical meetin's, an' r-reads th' papers an' weighs th' ividence an' th' argymints, pro-argymints an' con-argymints, an' makes up his mind ca'mly, an' votes th' Dimmycratic ticket.
In time a freeman bursts through, with perspyration poorin' down his nose, hurls his suffrage at th' judge an' staggers out. I plunge in, sharpen an inch iv lead pencil be rendin' it with me teeth, mutilate me ballot at th' top iv th' dimmycratic column, an' run f'r me life. "Cud a lady do that, I ask ye? No, sir, 'tis no job f'r th' fair. It's men's wurruk.
"Well, said Mr. Hennessy, "I'd like to've been there to see th' fightin'." "In th' play?" asked Mr. Dooley. "No," said Mr. Hennessy. "On th' sidewalk." "They'se wan thing that always makes me feel sure iv what Hogan calls th' safety iv our dimmycratic institutions," said Mr. Dooley, "an' that's th' intherest th' good people iv New York takes in a weddin' iv th' millyionaires.
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