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Did ye r-read it? he says. 'I did, says I. 'What did ye think iv it? says he. 'I know, says I, 'why more people don't go to church, says I." "I see," said Mr. Hennessy, "that Dewey is a candydate f'r prisidint." "Well, sir" said Mr. Dooley, "I hope to hiven he won't get it. No rilitive iv mine iver held a pollytical job barrin' mesilf.
What a relief to snarl at wife an' frinds wanst more, to smoke a seegar with th' thrust magnate that owns th' cider facthry near th' station, to take ye'er nap in th' afthernoon undisthurbed be th' chirp iv th' snap-shot! 'Tis th' day afther iliction I'd like f'r to be a candydate, Hinnissy, no matther how it wint." "An' what's become iv th' vice-prisidintial candydates?" Mr. Hennessy asked.
"I tell ye, Hinnissy, th' candydate is kept mov-in'. Whin he sees a dilly-gation pikin' up th' lawn he must be r-ready. He makes a flyin' leap f'r th' chairman, seizes him by th' throat an' says: 'I thank ye f'r th' kind sintimints ye have conveyed. I am, indeed, as ye have remarked, th' riprisintative iv th' party iv manhood, honor, courage, liberality an' American thraditions.
'Well, says he, 'I make no doubt 'twas brave iv Dorgan, he says, 'f'r to put his name in f'r th' tenth call, he says; 'but, he says, 'I don't like Plunkett, an' it seems to me a man'd have to be a hell iv a sthrong man, even if he was a hero, to be Plunkett's man, an' keep his hands out iv ye'er pockets, he says. 'I'm with Clancy's candydate, he says.
It begins to be talked that th' time has come f'r good citizens f'r to brace up an' do somethin', an' they agree to nomynate a candydate f'r aldherman. 'Who'll we put up? says they. 'How's Clarence Doolittle? says wan.
That's why Willum J. O'Brien is now a sinitor an' will be an aldherman afther next Thursdah, an' it's why other people are sinding him flowers. "This is th' way a rayform candydate is ilicted. Th' boys down town has heerd that things ain't goin' r-right somehow.
"'Worse, says I. 'Foolish man, says I. 'Don't ye know that it ain't our Bill that's been nommynated? I says. 'This is a Nebraska man, I says. 'Well, he says, 'if 'tis Bill O'Brien, he'd win easy. But, he says, 'if 'tis not, he says, ''tis wan iv th' fam'ly, he says. 'I'll change this here novel an' make it a sketch iv th' cousin iv th' candydate, he says. An' he wint on with his wurruk."
"Thin, if he don't answer, ivry wan says he's a thrimmer, an' ought to be runnin' a sthreet-car an' not thryin' to poke his ondecided face into th' White House. I mind wanst, whin me frind O'Brien was a candydate f'r aldherman, a comity iv tax-payers waited on him f'r to get his views on th' issues iv th' day.
'Whin th' battle r-raged, he says, 'an' th' bullets fr'm th' haughty Spanyards' raypeatin' Mouser r-rifles, he says, 'where was Cassidy? he says. 'In his saloon, says I, 'in I'mrald Av'noo, says I. 'Thrue f'r ye, says Plunkett. 'An' where, he says, 'was our candydate? he says. 'In somebody else's saloon, says I. 'No, says he.
So I calls to Andy, who was busy turnin' over the biscuits on the deck. `Andy, says I, when he had got under the canvas, `we's goin' to have a 'lection fur skipper. Tom, here, is about played out. He's one candydate, an' I'm another. Now, who do you vote fur?
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