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BURGE-LUBIN. But the Habeas Corpus Act! CONFUCIUS. The English always suspended it when it threatened to be of the slightest use. BURGE-LUBIN. Well, trial by jury: you cant deny that we established that?
The air service is as safe as any other travelling service. The parachute is safe. But the water is not safe. BURGE-LUBIN. Why? They will give me an unsinkable tunic, wont they? CONFUCIUS. You will not sink; but the sea is very cold. You may get rheumatism for life. BURGE-LUBIN. For life! That settles it: I wont risk it. CONFUCIUS. Good.
BURGE-LUBIN. Hallo, Barnabas! BURGE-LUBIN. Five double x three two gamma. Burge-Lubin. Barnabas puts a plug in number five; turns his pointer to double x; and another plug in 32; presses a button and looks round at Burge-Lubin, who is now visible to him as well as audible. That you, President? BURGE-LUBIN. Yes. They told me you wanted me to ring you up. Anything wrong? Another protest!
CONFUCIUS. So can I. Which of us do you think he will support when I explain to him that your object in revealing his age is to get him killed? Are we public men and members of the Government? or are we damned blackguards? BARNABAS. Hold your tongue, you insolent heathen. Burge: I spoke to you. BURGE-LUBIN. Well, you know, my dear Barnabas, Confucius is a very long-headed chap. I see his point.
If I had not thus prepared myself to be credulous, no mere evidence of films and well-told tales would have persuaded me to believe. As it is, I do believe. BURGE-LUBIN. Well, that being settled, what the devil is to happen next? Whats the next move for us? CONFUCIUS. We do not make the next move. The next move will be made by the Archbishop and the woman. BURGE-LUBIN. Their marriage?
I could prove nothing; for the register of my birth had been blown to pieces by a bomb dropped on a village church years before in the first of the big modern wars. I was ordered back to work as a man of forty, and had to work for fifteen years more, the retiring age being then fifty-five. BURGE-LUBIN. As late as fifty-five! How did people stand it?
Besides, my friend, it would not be safe. These distant flirtations are very charming; and they teach self-control. BURGE-LUBIN. Damn self-control! Why can I not resist them? Disgraceful! Confucius returns. CONFUCIUS. I forgot. There is something for you to do this morning. You have to go to the Record Office to receive the American barbarian.
THE ARCHBISHOP. By the word horror the Accountant General means only something unusual. CONFUCIUS. I notice that the honorable Domestic Minister, on learning the advanced age of the venerable prelate, shews no sign of surprise or incredulity. BURGE-LUBIN. She doesn't take it seriously. Who would? Eh, Mrs Lutestring? MRS LUTESTRING. I take it very seriously indeed, Mr President.
Therefore I advise you to be very careful how you take any step that will make my position uncomfortable. BURGE-LUBIN. Well, I'm dashed! One of my secretaries was remarking only this morning how well and young I am looking. Barnabas: I have an absolute conviction that I am one of the the shall I say one of the victims? of this strange destiny.
BARNABAS. Oh, dash it! That awful woman! BURGE-LUBIN. She certainly is a bit of a terror. I don't exactly know why; for she is not at all bad-looking. THE ARCHBISHOP. He cannot help it, Mr Accountant General. Three of his sixteen great-great-great-grandfathers married Lubins. BURGE-LUBIN. Tut tut! I am not frivolling. I did not ask the lady here. Which of you did?
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