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I were a fine young chap in them days, summat o' your figure only bigger ah! a sight bigger an' I were sweet on several lassies, an' won't say as they wer'n't sweet on me three on 'em most especially so. One was a tall, bouncin' wench wi' blue eyes, an' golden 'air like sunshine it were, but it wer'n't meant as I should buckle up wi' 'er." "Why not?"
Half an hour I'll be clownin wid the bottle; an' don't you go, Nick, till you see me." "Phelim," said the uncle, "you know how the case is. You must aither marry the girl, or take a long voyage, abouchal. We'll have no bouncin' or palaver." "Bedad, Mick, I've great patience wid you," said Phelim, smiling: "go off, I say, both of you."
'Oh, I'm so glad! Then she made it worse by runnin' up the stairs an' bouncin' into the room like a rubber ball, an' cryin': 'Now, what shall I do, read to you, or sing to you, or shall we play games? I'd love to do any of them! Just like that, she said it. I heard her. Then I went out, of course, an' left them.
"Fill her up with the same!" he ordered loudly, looking suddenly, and for the first time, very much like the rough-looking customer who had tackled Peter Maginnis in defense of his dog. "An' I'll have you know, Mister Ryan I'll have you know, my fine, big, bouncin' buck, that Jim Hackley ain't afeared of anythink that walks." Ryan filled her up again, though this time more conservatively.
"I'd like t' do it, of course," he said. "Bouncin' that chump th' same way that he bounced me would do me a lot o' good; but I've made up my mind it wouldn't be th' square thing t' do, considerin' that if he hadn't bounced me I'd still be foolin' round on top o' freight-cars, in all sorts o' weather, handlin' brakes. So I've let up on him, an' he can stay.
"Sure we were sittin' there as quite as could be consaived" the conclusion of this precipitate rush was thus recounted "when all of a suddint we couldn't tell what come bouncin' in at the door, as if it had been shot out of the inds of the earth, and had us all jumpin' up and screechin', till we seen it was on'y Tom Patman, and he in such a takin' you might suppose he thought somethin' 'ud swally up ould Joe and the child on him before he could get at them."
"Sandy's a fulish man," said Dauvid, when we landit at the shop door. "Ye micht as weel tell me that twice twa's fower, Dauvid," says I. "Fulish is no' the wird for't." "There's been some haiverin' amon' them aboot rinnin'; an' Sandy, like an auld fule, had been bouncin' aboot what he could do," gaed on Dauvid, withoot mindin' what I said.
It's a curious, mixed-up business, however you look at it." "That's so," said Tom Spade; "I always noticed it. The woman who is your wife may be a bouncin' beauty, an' the woman who ain't may be as ugly as sin, but you'd go twice as far to kiss her all the same. Thar is always a sight more spice about the woman who ain't."
Th' clerk goes up to th' state house, where th' gov'nor is ixicutin' th' high thrust reposed in him be himsilf, behind breastworks an' guarded be some iv th' most desp'rate an' pathriotic ruffyans in th' state. 'What have ye there? says his ixcillincy, with his hand on th' sthring iv a dinnymite gun. 'A writ fr'm th' coort bouncin' ye fr'm ye'er high office, says th' clerk.
"Phelim, don't be gettin' an wid your fun now, an' me in affliction. Sure, I know well you wouldn't throw yourself away upon a poor girl like me, that has nothin' but a good pair of hands to live by." "Be me sowl, an' you live by them. Well, but set in case supposin' that same Bouncin' Phelim was willing to make you mistress of the Half Acre, what 'ud you be sayin'?"
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