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I must tell you that I had the honor of fighting under General Washington; for I had been marched down to Trenton with a stout-hearted teamster, named Judah Loring, from Braintree, Massachusetts, who, after our battle at Bunker Hill, in that State, picked me up from the bottom of the works, where, for want of pickaxes, I had been, as I told you, serving as a trenching, tool, and made himself my better-half and commander-in-chief.
Her deceased better-half had been an eminent cork-cutter, in which capacity he had amassed a decent fortune. He had no relative but his nephew, and no friend but his cook. He felt ill after breakfast, and died after dinner. There is a mantelpiece-looking tablet in a civic parish church, setting forth his virtues, and deploring his loss. He never dishonoured a bill, or gave away a halfpenny.
Fortunately a third party arrived on the battlefield, the Alsatian's husband, of the same race; a roadside innkeeper, as well as a very good ready-reckoner, which was better. When he saw what kind of a customer he had to deal with a slaughterer who only wanted to pay the value of his victim he disarmed his better-half, and they came to an understanding.
He who, in New York, "Reads the in image act with pride And fancies that the law is on his side," may soon be taught, to his dismay, that some backwood's court in the West has privately given his artful better-half a divorce, and authorized her to wed at her earlier pleasure with the Lothario whom he the cast-off husband had not even begun to suspect of treachery.
I felt certain that she would not lack admirers. But my actresses, who had appeared ugly at the landing, produced a very different effect on the stage, and particularly the pantaloon's wife. M. Duodo, commander of a man-of-war, called upon her, and, finding master pantaloon intolerant on the subject of his better-half, gave him a few blows with his cane.
So, when Camusot, his mind at ease, was sitting down to dinner with his ambitious better-half, the Governor of the Conciergerie and Monsieur Lebrun, the prison doctor, were standing outside the gate bewailing the fragility of iron bars and the strength of ladies in love.
Mine host "grinned horribly a ghastly smile" as he placed himself, rather unsteadily, in a sitting posture in his bed, and in a hoarse tremulous voice bade me welcome, at the same time rousing his better-half, who appeared to be in the same happy state as himself.
Number the pictures in pairs, thus there will be two of No. 1, of No. 2, No. 3, etc. Give the young ladies the pictures of the men and the young men those of the ladies. Each one then hunts for his partner or "better-half," comparing the pictures and number. The more mixed the pictures were when given out, the longer it will take to find partners. The players form a line as in a spelling match.
"Hurry him up, mammy," she whispered to her housekeeper, and immediately went to her writing desk. "Laws, how can I leave them are taters, mammy?" he said, appealing to his better-half. "Laws, you can git back in time to kiver 'em up; you'll better let 'em spile and keep on the right side of the pet. Likely she's got something particular she wants to say to Mr. Sherman; girls is up to sich things.
As it is, he is free to walk the streets, and already beginning to win the confidence of many good people in the town." Ten minutes afterwards and the brawny smith threw his hammer aside, and commenced to undo the thongs that fastened his leathern apron about his loins. "I've finished my stint, lad," he said; "and now we can go into the house, where you'll meet my better-half.
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