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"I'll have to wrap a waddin' av waste around me weapon, so I'll neither kill nor mangle but lay thim out wit' wan good crack "'It is on the firrst av August, the truth I will declare, Those people they assimbled that day all at the fair, But little was their notion that evil was in shtore, All by the bloody Peelers at the fair av Turloughmore. "I must practice crackin' the divils!
We ark koomt whose people reside on the West Side of Lewis's river above left us when we deturmined to pass the river. before he left us he expressed his concern that his people would be deprived of the pleasure of Seeing us at the forks at which place they had assimbled to Shew us Sivilities &c.
Prisidint Taft repoorted stymied. He's th' best goluf player we've iver had as prisidint. He cud give Abra'm Lincoln a shtroke a stick. He bate th' champeen iv the' wurruld last week be a scoore iv wan hundhred an' eighty-two to siventy-six. He did so. "Here's a column about yisterdah's game. 'A large crowd assimbled to see th' match. Prisidint appeared ca'm an' collected.
Well, there wasn't a second word to the bargain; so they paid him the money down, an' he sot the table doun like an althar, before the door, an' he settled it out vid all the things he had wid him; an' he lit a bit iv a holy candle, an' he scathered his holy wather right an' left; an' he took up a big book, an' he wint an readin' for half an hour, good; an' whin he kem to the end, he tuck hould iv his little bell, and he beginned to ring it for the bare life; an', by my sowl, he rung it so well, that he wakened Jim Sulivan in the cowhouse, where he was sleepin', an' up he jumped, widout a minute's delay, an' med right for the house, where all the family, an' the priest, an' the little mass-boy was assimbled, layin' the ghost; an' as soon as his raverence seen him comin' in at the door, wid the fair fright, he flung the bell at his head, an' hot him sich a lick iv it in the forehead, that he sthretched him on the floor; but fain; he didn't wait to ax any questions, but he cut round the table as if the divil was afther him, an' out at the door, an' didn't stop even as much as to mount an his mare, but leathered away down the borheen as fast as his legs could carry him, though the mud was up to his knees, savin' your presence.
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