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"Von!" echoed every little old gentleman in every leather-bottomed arm-chair in Vondervotteimittiss. "Von!" said his watch also; "von!" said the watch of his vrow; and "von!" said the watches of the boys, and the little gilt repeaters on the tails of the cat and pig. "Two!" continued the big bell; and "Doo!" repeated all the repeaters. "Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine!
EVERYBODY knows, in a general way, that the finest place in the world is or, alas, was the Dutch borough of Vondervotteimittiss. Yet as it lies some distance from any of the main roads, being in a somewhat out-of-the-way situation, there are perhaps very few of my readers who have ever paid it a visit.
Under one arm he carried a huge chapeau-de-bras, and under the other a fiddle nearly five times as big as himself. In his left hand was a gold snuff-box, from which, as he capered down the hill, cutting all manner of fantastic steps, he took snuff incessantly with an air of the greatest possible self-satisfaction. God bless me! here was a sight for the honest burghers of Vondervotteimittiss!
"Der Teufel!" gasped the little old gentlemen, turning pale, dropping their pipes, and putting down all their right legs from over their left knees. "Der Teufel!" groaned they, "Dirteen! Dirteen!! Mein Gott, it is Dirteen o'clock!!" Why attempt to describe the terrible scene which ensued? All Vondervotteimittiss flew at once into a lamentable state of uproar.
Touching the derivation of the name Vondervotteimittiss, I confess myself, with sorrow, equally at fault. Among a multitude of opinions upon this delicate point some acute, some learned, some sufficiently the reverse I am able to select nothing which ought to be considered satisfactory. Perhaps the idea of Grogswigg nearly coincident with that of Kroutaplenttey is to be cautiously preferred.
Since my sojourn in the borough, they have had several special meetings, and have adopted these three important resolutions: "That it is wrong to alter the good old course of things:" "That there is nothing tolerable out of Vondervotteimittiss:" and "That we will stick by our clocks and our cabbages."
By the united aid of medals, manuscripts, and inscriptions, I am enabled to say, positively, that the borough of Vondervotteimittiss has existed, from its origin, in precisely the same condition which it at present preserves.
His coat-tail is very far longer his pipe, his shoe buckles, his eyes, and his stomach, very far bigger than those of any other old gentleman in the village; and as to his chin, it is not only double, but triple. I have thus painted the happy estate of Vondervotteimittiss: alas, that so fair a picture should ever experience a reverse!
Above the session-room of the Council is the steeple, and in the steeple is the belfry, where exists, and has existed time out of mind, the pride and wonder of the village the great clock of the borough of Vondervotteimittiss. And this is the object to which the eyes of the old gentlemen are turned who sit in the leather-bottomed arm-chairs.
The Town Council are all very little, round, oily, intelligent men, with big saucer eyes and fat double chins, and have their coats much longer and their shoe-buckles much bigger than the ordinary inhabitants of Vondervotteimittiss.
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