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Here were bargainings, hagglings, quarrellings, elbowings, slang, low wit, laughter, abuse, cheating, and chattering enough to turn the head of a neophyte like myself. Müller, however, was in his element. He took me up one row and down another, pointed out all that was curious, had a nod for every grisette, and an answer for every touter, and enjoyed the Babel like one to the manner born.
"Yes, he will never rest," replies the old man, "till we have given our consent and let him go. To-day he says that an emigration 'touter' has promised him gold and green forests if he will take a ticket for one of the Bremen line steamers. I reminded him that the farm is unencumbered, but he answered that it could not provide for both his brothers and himself.
"We'll give you for the same money soup, fish, two dishes, a dessert, a half-bottle, and take your photograph into the bargain!" "Bravo! mon vieux you first poison them with your dinner, and then provide photographs for the widows and children," retorts touter number one. "That's justice, anyhow."
My father pulls up, and thinks a bit "No," says he, "damme, I'm too old, b'sides, I'm a many sizes too large," says he. "Not a bit on it, Sir," says the touter. "Think not?" says my father. "I'm sure not," says he; "we married a gen'l'm'n twice your size, last Monday." "Did you, though?" said my father.
"Wall, wall, wall, so it's really you," said the touter of a fur house, in extremely friendly voice; "come in now and we'll hev a drink." "No, sir-ree," said Bill decisively, "I don't drink till business is done." "Wall, now, Bill, here's Van Roost's not ten steps away an' he hez tapped the finest bar'l in years." "No, I tell ye, I'm not drinking now." "Wall, all right, ye know yer own business.
Every touter informs the callow Freshman that all men of character and talent hasten to join his society, and impresses the fresh imagination with the names of the famous honorary members.
After a few days' rest at my boarding-house, to which I was recommended by a touter, and which was in Canal-street, and was kept by a "cute" Down-easter, or native of the New England States, with whom I engaged for bed and board for eight dollars per week, I sallied forth to make my intended observations, preparatory to leaving for the west. Everything wore a novel aspect.
Goes through the archvay, thinking how he should inwest the money up comes the touter, touches his hat "Licence, Sir, licence?" "What's that?" says my father. "Licence, Sir," says he. "What licence?" says my father. "Marriage licence," says the touter. "Dash my veskit," says my father, "I never thought o' that." "I think you wants one, Sir," says the touter.
They had pictured to themselves a coarse old man, with a damp eye and a puckered mouth, one eyebrow elevated an inch above the other to express shrewdness and knowledge of the world a man clad in velveteen and braid, with a heavy watch-chain, large rings, and horny hands, the touter to a waxwork show, with a hoarse voice, and over familiar manner.
Whereupon touter number two shrieks out a torrent of abuse, and we push on, leaving them to settle their differences after their own fashion. At the next booth we are accosted by a burly fellow daubed to the eyes with red and blue paint, and dressed as an Indian chief. "Entrez, entrez, Messieurs et Mesdames" he cries, flourishing a war-spear some nine feet in length.
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