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'Number of cases, drunk and disorderly: arising as I understand out of Regatta held yesterday at Kirris-vean. The Superintendent arose. He is an amazingly tall man, and it seemed to me that he took an amazingly long time in arising to his full height. 'Impossible to accommodate them all in the cells, y'r Worship. If I may say so, the police were hard worked all night.
For no one born in Kirris-vean can ever forget it. It has also a model public-house, The Three Wheatsheaves, so named from the Felix-Williams' coat of arms. The people of Troy believe or at any rate assert that every one in Kirris-vean is born with a complete suit of gilt buttons bearing that device.
Samuel Sleeman this was the Superintendent's name appellant against Isaac Adamson, drunk and disorderly; Ditto against Duncan McPhae, drunk and disorderly; Ditto against Henry James Walters, drunk and disorderly; Ditto against Selina Mary Wilkins, drunk on licensed premises; Ditto against Mary Curtis, drunk on licensed premises; Ditto against Solomon Tregaskis, drunk on highway. . . . There were no less than twenty-four names on the list; and each was the name of a retainer or pensioner of Sir Felix those aged Arcadians of Kirris-vean.
But these meetings, and the suggestions Sir Felix made, and the votes we took upon them, are they not recorded in the minute-book of the First and Last Kirris-vean Regatta? Yes, thus I have to write it, and with sorrow: there will never be another Regatta in that Arcadian village.
To the end he dealt out justice, none aiding him; and when the business was over, pushed back his chair. We filed out after him. I believe that he has paid all the fines out of his own pocket. And Troy laughs. But I believe it is safe to say that, while Sir Felix lives, Kirris-vean will not hold a second Regatta.
There is a something about Sir Felix that tempts to garrulity, and I could fill pages here with an account of our preparations for the Regatta; the daily visits he paid me always in a fuss, and five times out of six over some trivial difficulty that had assailed him in the still watches of the night; the protracted meetings of Committee in the upper chamber of the lifeboat-house at Kirris-vean.
Mercifully' the Superintendent laid stress on the word, and I shall always, when I think of it, remember to thank him 'the most of 'em were blind. We laid 'em out on the floor of the charge-room, and with scarcely an exception, as I am credibly informed, they've come to, more or less. 'Kirris-vean? I saw Sir Felix's hands grip the arms of his chair.
They wanted fireworks, and were not wasting any money on lecturers: also there was a feeling in Kirris-vean that, while a regatta could scarcely be held without boat-racing, the prizes should be just sufficient to attract competitors and yet on a scale provoking no one to grumble at the amount of subscribed money lost to the village. A free public tea was suggested.
It had come from afar, from one of the inland china-clay villages, and in hiring it the Committee had been constant to its principle that no more money than was necessary should be allowed to go out of Kirris-vean.
Few dissipations ripple the gentle flow which it were more descriptive perhaps to call stagnation of life in that model village. From week-end to week-end scarcely a boat puts forth from the shelter of its weed-coated pier; for though Kirris-vean wears the aspect of a place of fishery, it is in fact nothing of the kind.
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