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1 day as I was givin a descripshun of my Beests and Snaiks in my usual flowry stile, what was my skorn & disgust to see a big burly feller walk up to the cage containin my wax figgers of the Lord's Last Supper, and cease Judas Iscariot by the feet and drag him out on the ground. He then commenced fur to pound him as hard as he cood. "What under the son are you abowt?" cried I.
I don't see how that hunter could stay on his back I couldn't to say nothin' to shootin' the arrows into the critter as he's a-doin'. Or mebby my mind'll jump right over to the "Soldier of Marathon," or "Eve," no knowin' at all where my thoughts will take me amongst them noble marble figgers.
As thar's no sky pilot to confide in, this drunkard figgers that Peets 'll do, an' with that he onloads on Peets how, bein' as he is a stage book-keep over in Red Dog, he's in cahoots with a outfit of route agents an' gives 'em the word when it's worth while to stand-up the stage. An' among other crim'nal pards of his this terrified person names that outlaw Silver Phil.
Ugly Collins, who's a tyrannizin' cowardly form of outcast, sizes him up as a easy prey. He figgers he'll have a heap of evil fun with him, Ugly Collins does. Tharupon he approaches the consumptive stranger: "'You-all seems plenty ailin', pard, says Ugly Collins. "'Which I shore ain't over peart none, retorts the stranger.
"No, it ain't them maladies that so weakens Enright he lapses into confidences about his early love; but you see, son, Peets stops his nose-paint; won't let him drink so much as a drop; an' bein' cut off short on nourishment like I says, it makes Enright at least so I allers figgers some childish an' light-headed.
"Not much. 'You've got the Pontiac, Nott, sez he. 'You bet! sez I. 'What'll you take for her and the lot she stands on? sez he, short and sharp. Some fellers, Rosey," said Nott, with a cunning smile, "would hev blurted out a big figger and been cotched. That ain't my style. I just looked at him. 'I'll wait fur your figgers until next steamer day, sez he, and off he goes like a shot.
I goes over Jerry that evenin' patiently explorin' for bullet marks, but thar ain't none. No one's ever creased him; an' I figgers final by way of a s'lootion of his fits that mighty likely Jerry's attended some killin' between hoomans, inadvertent, an' has the teeth of his apprehensions set on aige.
"Oh, how's the marryin' industry, f'r instance? Brisk?" Jason smiled. "It might be brisker." "Um!... Maybe folks figgers you hain't had enough experience to do their marryin' jest accordin' to rule seein' 's you hain't married yourself." Jason blushed and frowned.
This feller, Creal, located us, and figgers to wipe us off his slate. See? Say, Bill, I guessed long ago Bell River was going to hand us some secrets. I guessed it would tell us how Allan Mowbray died. Well, Louis Creal's going to pay. He's going to pay good. Murray's wise. Gee, I can't but admire. Another feller would have shouted.
We can do it by odd jobs, and the apples hain't good for nothin' anyway." But I sez, "You can't prune apple trees into figgers, Josiah, it takes different trees, and that is too big anyway." "That's a woman's way of talkin'; I want her in heroic size, she's worthy on't.
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