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VIII. THESE APPEARANCES ARE ASSUMED CONJUGIAL SEMBLANCES; AND THEY ARE COMMENDABLE, BECAUSE USEFUL AND NECESSARY. They are called assumed semblances, because they exist with those who disagree in mind, and who from such disagreement are interiorly in cold: in this case, when they still appear to live united, as duty and decency require, their kind offices to each other may be called assumed conjugial semblances; which, as being commendable for the sake of uses, are altogether to be distinguished from hypocritical semblances; for hereby all those good things are provided for, which are commemorated in order below, from article XI-XX. They are commendable for the sake of necessity, because otherwise those good things would be unattained; and yet the parties are enjoined by a covenant and compact to live together, and hence it behoves each of them to consider it a duty to do so.
The reason why the marriage of the Lord and the church, together with its correspondence, is here also treated of, is, because without knowledge and intelligence on this subject, scarcely any one can know, that conjugial love in its origin is holy, spiritual, and celestial, and that it is from the Lord.
Such fornications are the violent excesses whereby conjugial sports are changed into tragic scenes: for immoderate and inordinate fornications are like burning flames which, arising out of ultimates, consume the body, parch the fibres, defile the blood, and vitiate the rational principles of the mind; for they burst forth like a fire from the foundation into the house, which consumes the whole.
After this I saw an angel from that heaven holding in his hand a roll of parchment, which he unfolded, saying, "I see that you are meditating on conjugial love; in this parchment are contained arcana of wisdom respecting that love, which have never yet been disclosed in the world.
In regard to zeal's residing with a man in his understanding, they assigned this reason; because conjugial love defends itself by the understanding, as good does by truth; so the wife defends those things which are common with the man, by her husband; and that on this account zeal is implanted in the men, and by them, and for their sake, in the women.
Those on that earth who have lived in truly conjugial love, and have taken such care of their children as becomes parents, do not die of disease, but tranquilly as in sleep, and so pass from the world into heaven. The age of man there is generally thirty years, according to the years of our Earth.
Now as two married partners are an image and form of this love, it follows that every love which proceeds from the form of essential love itself, is a resemblance thereof; therefore if conjugial love be celestial and spiritual, the loves proceeding from it are also celestial and spiritual. Conjugial love therefore is as a parent, and all other loves are as the offspring.
It is as a parent, and all other loves are as the offspring, 65. Conjugial love essentially consists in the desire of two to become one, that is, their desire that two lives may become one life, 215, 37. It is the conjunction of love and wisdom, 65. The very origin of this love resides in the inmost principles appertaining to man, that is, in is soul, 238, 466.
If you wish for a proof of this, ask, if you please, the men you meet, what their sentiments are respecting monogamical and polygamical unions; and you will seldom meet one who will not reply in favor of the polygamical; and this also is a love of the sex: but ask the women their sentiments on the subject, and almost all, except the vilest of the sex, will reject polygamical unions; from which consideration it follows, that with the women there prevails a love of one of the sex, thus conjugial love.
XVII. Children born of parents who are principled in love truly conjugial, derive from them the conjugial principle of good and truth; whence they have an inclination and faculty, if sons, to perceive the things relating to wisdom, and if daughters, to love those things which wisdom teaches.
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