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A quarter of a mile on the way I realised that I had forgotten my box-respirator; the only solution of the difficulty was to take the groom's, and send him back to remain in possession of mine until I returned; and all that morning and afternoon I was haunted by the fear that I might perhaps be compelled to put on the borrowed article.
I stood still getting my box-respirator on." When the shelling died down we walked farther along the trench, which turned westwards. Excellent positions for the three 18-pdr. batteries were found not far from the trench; and returning again towards the wood for our horses, we chanced upon a deep dug-out that Major Mallaby-Kelby sent me down to explore.
Even if I had not recognised him from his portraits or because two winters before the war he and I stayed in the same hotel at Nice there was no doubt as to his identity. Name and title appeared written in indelible pencil on his box-respirator. He told me he was looking for a headquarters for his brigade, and he had heard that the sunken road was a likely spot.
But I did not trouble to put my box-respirator on; the gas was not so bad as that. I simply dashed from bay to bay, crouching behind each traverse as the shells or bombs exploded and then bounding on to the next. In many places I went down into thick mud and water up to my knees; but when it is a question of life or death things like that do not trouble one.
"I could see that everybody was discussing the service and the sermon. I overheard a Frenchman in frock coat and top hat, who seemed to be a churchwarden or something of the kind, expressing his appreciation of the latter. "Then I came back to camp and paraded for a box-respirator! We then went through 'tear gas. Then dinner. I sat at the Commandant's table.
"I mustn't lose that pipe. It was an original Dunhill, and is worth three or four pounds.... I'll offer a reward for it.... Will you come with me to look for it?" And he fixed his monocle and gazed at me compellingly. "Does the offer of a reward refer to me, sir?" I inquired with all the brightness at my command. For answer the major commenced putting on his steel helmet and box-respirator.
Shells were bursting all around me, making a horrible row; some of them were almost in the trench. I was covered with the fumes from one or two of them and also sniffed some gas. I put on my box-respirator. One piece of shrapnel hit me on the head, but, fortunately, I had my steel helmet on my head; so I was all right. "At 11.30 a.m.
"Haven't noticed any, sir." "You had better have your box-respirator ready. It seems to be coming in a cloud down the valley." I dozed off again, but half an hour later the uneasy movements of "Ernest" roused me. I sneezed several times, and felt a burning in the throat. This was undoubtedly gas.
Then a box-respirator inspection in billets, with drill on same, was ordered and took place; it was, I may incidentally remark, the second they had already had during the day. This kind of thing went on for some time; the weather cleared up; and then another parade was ordered and took place at 9.15. We then marched off to the training area.
The most valuable paintings, the best of the Louis XV. furniture, and the choicest tapestry had been removed to safety. In one room I entered some bucolic wag had clothed a bust of Venus in a lance-corporal's cap and field-service jacket, and affixed a box-respirator in the alert position.
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