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As she goes upstairs, Arthur Montmorency that's his name holds both hands to his heart and says, 'She and she only shall be my bride. The conclusion of this highly fascinatin' and absorbin' romance will be found in the next number of The Housewife's Companion." "Mother," suggested Roger, "why don't you subscribe for the papers yourself?"
"'Well I'm a stranger, says I, 'out absorbin' such beauties of architecture and free lunch as offers along the line. If I ain't keepin' you up, I'd be glad of your company. "'I'm your assistant lunch buster, says he, and in the course of things he further explained that he was a tugboat fireman, out on a strike, givin' me the follerin' information about the tie-up:
Before the cooling beverage had been surmounted by its delicate mouthpiece the street gate opened and the colonel walked briskly in. "Ah, Major! You here? Jes the vehy man we wanted, suh! Fitz and the English agent are comin' to dinner. You have heard the news, of co'se? No? Not about the great syndicate absorbin' the Garden Spots? My dear suh, she's floated!
"This here's my fav'rut book," Dan continued, "an' is very absorbin'. Set in my chair there, an' read y'self t' death, 'f you feel like it," and Dan took himself off. So Whitey sat in Dan's chair, which happened to be the only chair in the room, and was extremely uncomfortable, being all sagged down on one side, on account of Dan's weight.
Carpets was absorbin' his attention, chairs on deck, and chandeliers in the hole, as we used to say when we was baseball kids." "Ain't a word of truth in it," indignantly denied the assailed, his unfinished nose and chin giving him a pathetic, whipped puppy look. "Sho! I was just looking up saddles. Can't a fellow buy a new saddle without asking leave of Denver?"
"Glad of it," said the little man. "I don't like a feller to hog a joke all by himself. Some of the Bar X boys took to absorbin' humour out of my shape when I first went to work, but they're sort of educated out of it now. I got an eye from one and a finger off of another; the last one donated a ear."
Now an' then, thar's a visitin' gent in town who can onfold a story. In sech event he's made a lot of, an' becomes promptly the star of the evenin'. "Thar's a Major Sayres we meets up with once in Wolfville, he's thar on cattle matters with old man Enright an' I recalls how he grows absorbin' touchin' some of his adventures in that War.
"I don't know how it is," said the captain, solemnly, "but I begin to feel a sort of somethin towards you youngsters that's very absorbin. It's a kine o' anxious fondness, with a mixtoor of indulgent tenderness. How ever I got to contract sech a feelin beats me. I s'pose it's bein deprived of my babby, an exiled from home, an so my vacant buzzom craves to be filled.
"Thar's signs, of course, to which I'd shorely bow, not to say pay absorbin' heed. If some gent with whom I chooses to differ touchin' some matter that's a heap relevant at the time, ups an' reaches for his gun abrupt, it fills me full of preemonitions that the near future is mighty liable to become loaded with lead an' interest for me. Now thar's an omen I don't discount.
"There, there, boy; I'm afraid I've humored you too much you're presuming." "I presume I am. But one question more, while we're on this absorbin' subject. Didn't you, now, just add a jot or a tittle to that ghost story you put over? Was it every bit on the dead level?" "Yes, child," Aunt Abby took his question seriously; "it was every word true. I didn't make up the least word of it!"
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