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I am teaching him to say in a loud, clear tone, as he gets on the car, "Look at all the human beings!" in the same accent of amazement that he uses when he goes to the Zoo. Perhaps in this way he will preserve the happy faculty of being surprised. It is an agreeable thing to keep the same sense of surprise in one's home town that one would have in a strange city.
"But I must hurry away or I will be late and that's one thing my children can't forgive. Poor darlings, they have so few outings that they hate to waste a minute of their precious time." "Why don't you take them to the zoo?" Phyllis spoke for the first time, her voice sounded very tired but she smiled. "They'd like it a heap better than the museum." "No, dear, I think you're wrong.
It was a perfunctory enquiry, however, and was soon completed. Naturally upon its conclusion I considered that I would be free to resume my journey. I turned to my interpreter. "Now this is all over I suppose I can go?" "Ach! nein zoo tant doh!" His English was so vile that I thought he said and meant "ah! at nine you can go!"
"My dear old man," he shouted, springing at me and seizing my hand in the grip like the bite of a horse. "How are you, old buck? This is good. By Jove, this is fine, what?" He dashed to the door and looked out. "Come on Millie! Pick up the waukeesis. Here's old Garnet, looking just the same as ever. Devilish handsome fellow! You'll be glad you came when you see him. Beats the Zoo hollow!"
No doubt you think me behind the times; but I rejoice in my enlightenment; and I recoil from your ignorance, your blindness, your imbecility. Humanly I pity you. Intellectually I despise you. ZOO. Bravo, Daddy! You have the root of the matter in you. You will not die of discouragement after all. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. I have not the smallest intention of doing so, madam.
We'll keep a horse and trap, you know, and I'll buy you each a bicycle, and we'll go to the Pantomime every evening, and to Madame Tussaud's, and the Zoo, and the Tower of London, and Masklyne and Cook's, and other things every day and and " he went on breathlessly. "But do you know how to do typewriting?" asked Dick, dubiously.
But all that is an old story: the extension of life to three hundred years has provided the human race with capable leaders, and made short work of such childish stuff. Do you not know that this question was familiar to men who died before they had reached my own age? ZOO. Oh yes: one or two of them hinted at it in a feeble way.
After this was over, I would go into the city, do the block, have afternoon tea, give an address at the Town Hall recruiting-depot, go to a theatre, and then as there seemed nothing else to be done, would return to the hospital. Such was my programme for ninety days. Sometimes I varied it by visiting the Zoo to commiserate with the wild animals on being caged.
Shall I at last be able to boast of having seen that magnificent city? ZOO. You will be disappointed: we have no cities. There is a temple of the oracle: that is all. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. Alas! and I came here to fulfil two long-cherished dreams. One was to see Galway. It has been said, 'See Galway and die. The other was to contemplate the ruins of London. ZOO. Ruins! We do not tolerate ruins.
'This college building is commodious as a college building. But it will be found that in the above discussion we can replace 'commodious' by 'commodious as a college building' without altering our conclusion; though we can guess that the recipient, who thought he was in the lion-house of the Zoo, would be less likely to assent to. 'Anyhow, it is commodious as a college building.
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