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I can't blame her for bein' embittered aginst men and the laws they have made; for, if ever a woman has been tormented, she has. It honestly seems to me as if I never see a human creeter so afflicted as Dorlesky Burpy has been, all her life. Why, her sufferin's date back before she wus born; and that is goin' pretty fur back.
"Josiah believes it, and Dorlesky Burpy, and lots of other Jonesvillians." Says I, "To set down in a chair that an angel has jest vacated, a high chair under the full glare of critical inspection, is a tegus place. I don't s'pose Garfield was really an angel, but his sufferin's and martyrdom placed him almost in that light before the world. "And you have filled that chair, and filled it well.
Wall, it wuzn't more'n 2 or 3 days after I begun my preparations, that Dorlesky Burpy, a vegetable widow, come to see me; and the errents she sent by me wuz fur more hefty and momentous than all the rest put together, calves, hen-coop, and all.
Trouble and wrongs and sufferin's seemed to be epidemic in the race of Burpy wimmen. Why, one of her aunts on her father's side, Patty Burpy, married for her first husband Eliphalet Perkins. He was a minister, rode on a circuit. And he took Patty on it too; and she rode round with him on it, a good deal of the time.
He is considerable taller than I am; and on that account, and a good many others, I felt like lookin' up to him. Wall, when I have got a hard job in front of me, I don't know any better way than to tackle it to once. So consequently I tackled it. I told James, that Dorlesky Burpy had sent two errents by me, and I had brought 'em from Jonesville on my tower.
I leaned my umberell in a easy, careless position against a adjacent chair, adjusted my green veil in long, graceful folds, I hain't vain, but I like to look well, and then I at once told him of my errents. I told him "I had brought three errents to him from Jonesville, one for myself, and two for Dorlesky Burpy." He bowed, but didn't say nothin': he looked tired.
"Thank fortune, I have always kept the law." And they said the same thought wus a great comfort to him in his last moments. He died about a year after she did, leaving his 2nd wife with twins and a good property. Then, there was Abagail Burpy. She married a sort of a high-headed man, though one that paid his debts, and was truthful, and considerable good- lookin', and played well on the fiddle.
I pitied him, and would gladly have refrained from troubling him more. But duty hunched me; and when she hunches, I have to move forward. Says I in measured tones, each tone measurin' jest about the same, half duty, and half pity for him, "Dorlesky Burpy sent these errents to you. She wanted intemperance done away with the Whiskey Ring broke right up.
And then, another one of her aunts, Drusilla Burpy, she married a industrius, hard-workin' man, one that never drinked a drop, and was sound on the doctrines, and give good measure to his customers: he was a grocer-man. And a master hand for wantin' to foller the laws of his country, as tight as laws could be follered.
My land! talk about Dorlesky Burpy bein' disagreable he wus as disagreable as she is, any day. He was kinder tall, and looked out of his eyes, and wore a vest: I don't know as I can describe him any more close than that. He was some bald-headed, and he kinder smiled once in a while: I persume he will be known by this description. It is plain, anyway, almost lucid.
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